Special Guest Post: Michelle on Being a Proverbs 31 Wife

Please help me welcome today as the conclusion to the Proverbs 31 series, guest blogger Michelle. Take a moment and read her testimony, it is a story that every woman needs to read. I hope and pray it moves you like it did me. Here's Michelle.

           

           Hello, Casey!  Thank you so much for asking me to be a guest on your blog today.  It's a privilege and an honor to share a little bit of my story with you and your readers.  I don't claim to be an expert on the subject of being a "Proverbs 31" woman, but I hope that by sharing my journey, it might make a difference for someone.

            The first 34 years of my life were spent apart from a relationship with God, and not knowing what that even meant. My knowledge about God was limited, and I had all of the typical thoughts that skeptics and unbelievers have; how could there be a God who created all of this? It’s impossible, how could there really be a Heaven? And how could there really be a Hell? Why would a loving God "send" people to Hell? And why would a loving God allow all of these terrible things to happen in our world?  My standard response to church was, "I don't need to go to church to be a good person".   Those who talked about prayer and the Bible had me rolling my eyes and thinking to myself, "They're crazy!" 

            As years passed, I came to know more Christians.  Everywhere I looked I would see things of God; Jesus fish on the back of cars, bumper stickers saying "Jesus is Lord", church signs that read, "Don't know God?  Read the Bible.", and billboards that read, "He Died For You.", the list goes on.  Tiny seeds were being planted, and I had more and more questions. 

            During the summer of 2005, I saw a sign for FREE Vacation Bible School at a local church.  It ran for 5 days, from 9 am to noon.  Did I mention that it was FREE?  I went to VBS with a friend when I was a kid, so I thought my kids would like it, too.  They went for a week, and that was the end of that.  Fast forward to summer 2006, and it's time again for FREE VBS!  I get the kids signed up, only this time, I don't drop them off and go home.  I stay to watch the little skits, listen to the songs, and I heard the message; the Gospel message.  Well, this is news to me.  Why has this truth escaped me for all of these years?  Where have I been?  What have I been doing?  Truth be told, I was living my life my way, making a pretty fine mess of things.  Needless to say, my interest had been piqued.  I left the church thinking, “I like this place, and it would be pretty silly to just take the kids to VBS once a year and never come back the rest of the year." 

            The following Sunday, July 23, 2006, I attended Sunday service.  Two weeks later on August 6, I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior.  It's almost been 5 years since I became a Christian, and I've literally been like a sponge, soaking up all of God's word, and getting to know Him like I've never known Him before.  Not only getting to know Him, but LOVING Him.  Loving Him so much that I want to obey Him.  It continues to be the most amazing journey, and nothing can compare to a life that is lived for Christ!

            When my husband and I married in September 1993, neither of us were believers.  When I became a Christian, my husband was fine with that, and he didn't mind that I took the kids to church.  He's been very respectful of my decision the entire time.  He's on his own journey to salvation, and I'm trusting God will work in his life the same way that He did in mine.  The Bible verse I keep close to my heart is 1 Peter 3:1-2, "Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives." 

            I don't preach at him, and I don't lecture him about why he needs to be a Christian.  I show him respect (submission), I serve him, love him, and pray for him. 

            During the first 13 years of our marriage, I was bossy and wanted to be in control.  I felt it had to be my way, or no way at all.  I always had to make my point and prove why everything must be done my way.  It's hard to admit, but I was selfish and spoiled.   I felt resentment for being the one that had to "do all the work," while hubby and kids got to have all of the fun.  The words "what about me?" played through my mind on a regular basis.  I certainly knew nothing of what it meant to be a "Proverbs 31" woman.  And I certainly didn't have true peace or joy.  What I had was a lot of arguments and heartache. 

            When I became a Christian in 2006, everything changed. Slowly, over time, my thinking began to shift.  I learned what it truly means to serve others, including my husband.  If I strive to be like Christ, than esteeming others higher than myself must be a priority.  Paul tells us in Philippians 2:3, "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself."  When I learned to embrace that something amazing happened – the amount of joy that comes from doing things God's way is indescribable!  It has been the biggest blessing to apply God's word to every area of my life, including my marriage.  To get to know Him, to serve Him, to obey Him, and to love Him; there truly is no greater joy than to live my life in a way that brings glory to Him. 

            In my marriage, it's inevitable that something will come up to test my obedience.  Whether it's a situation with the kids, or something in general, I have learned to back off, and let my husband take the lead.  Not that we don't work on things together as a team and not that he doesn't consider my thoughts and opinions, but I respect him as the head of the household.  I trust his judgment.  When I start to revert back to my old ways, I remember Ephesians 5:22 -- "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord."  It's not always easy for my natural self to submit, but I do the best I can, because I love the Lord with all of my heart.  I want to obey Him and follow His ways.  Thank God that I have His word to guide and strengthen me in the things I need to do.  Things that certainly wouldn't be possible on my own.  As I've let God change my ways, the benefits have been tremendous in my relationship with my husband.  Instead of me trying to change my husband, I've let God change me.  Our relationship has only gotten better, and I give all the glory to God for that!

            On the Proverbs 31 Ministries' website (www.proverbs31.org),  you can find the "Seven Principles of the Proverbs 31 Woman" . . .

A Proverbs 31 Woman . . .
-- Pursues an ongoing, personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
-- Loves, honors, and greatly enriches the life of her husband, encouraging and supporting his leadership within his family and his church.
-- Nurtures the next generation, shaping and molding the children who will one day define who we are as a community and as a nation.
-- Creates a warm and loving environment for family and friends.
-- Is a faithful steward of the time and money God has entrusted to her.
-- Speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction as she encourages others and develops godly friendships.
-- Shares the love of Christ by extending her hands to help the poor and opening her arms to the needy."

            Doesn't that sound like the type of woman I want to be?  Absolutely!  Becoming the woman God created me to be is no easy task, but I can rest assured He has equipped me with the tools I need to live this thing out.  To embrace it, to make it my own, and pray I can be an example to the women I meet.  The wonderful thing is I don't have to have everything figured out.  I can come to Jesus just as I am, broken and imperfect, knowing I can't do this thing called life without Him.  Jesus tells us in Mark 8:34, "Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me."  Thank you, Jesus, for your clear instructions. 

            So how does a woman like me go from unbelief, to knowing that God's way is the only way?  Simply by the mighty power of God!  It's a miracle!  Looking back, I see that He was seeking me before I even knew He was.  He knew me and loved me before I was even born, and He's had a plan for me all along.  Praise God He never gave up on me!  Praise God I came to a place of surrendering to Him, and praise God I get to live the rest of my life following Him and striving to become more like Him!