Friday, August 2, 2013

How are you preparing for your best marriage?

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There aren’t very many young females out there that don’t have some kind of wedding dream. Pinterest has certainly fed this desire with the opportunities to pin elaborate wedding gowns, bridesmaid dresses, decorations and all the perfect photos we will want taken on our special day. I certainly can’t judge or deny anyone this privilege. Good grief, of my 1900 pins, 300 plus are wedding or romance related. We are created for romance after all by the great Romancer of our souls.

But how many of us actually think about the days beyond the white dress? I can raise my hand and be guilty of this myself. There is nothing wrong with these dreams, but would like to challenge you, while challenging myself, to dream beyond that “perfect day” and into the future you will be spending with the one person you have vowed to love and honor until “death do you part”.

Be proactive in your dreaming, learning to become the wife God is calling you to be. We are only single for a short period of time. A shorter period of time than we will be a wife. What are we doing right now? Are we being a good steward of this time of singleness? What is God wanting to teach us in this?

Are you learning to keep a good home? A home that honors God and your husband?

If you live alone, are you filling your home with the light of God? If you still live at home, how are you honoring those in authority over you? How you respect your father, mother, siblings, etc, will be your default for how you respect your own husband someday. Wow, what conviction this is to my spirit!

Are you experimenting with food? Learning how to cook?

The old adage is the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Hopefully we don’t find a man quite so shallow (wink), but food is a form of communication. It’s a love language on many levels, because it takes time. Time to prepare and time to present. Time to enjoy. A place of connection and bonding. Take the time now to have fun with food and share the fun with others!

Are you studying what it means to be pure in singleness and pure in marriage? Are you communicating with like-minded singles and long-married couples about the importance of your current role and your future one?

Being single is not a solitary time in life. I’m continually learning to find fun and joy in simple activities with other young people. But it can be so important to talk about your desires and dreams with other like-minded people. Search (and pray) for a strong Christian married woman (or man) as a mentor during your single years. Learn from these people and prepare yourself for a lifetime of commitment.

Understand the meaning of commitment. The value of waiting. And cultivate a desire to never “settle”.


Much as you would clean and prepare a home for selling, clean and prepare your heart for marriage. You might not have the timetable or the diamond, but now is the time regardless. Examine the soul of your intent and pray for God to continue the good work He has started in You, just as the scriptures promise. Don’t fall into the trap of yearning for marriage, just for the sake of being married. But yearn for today, for tomorrow and the good work God is doing to prepare you for your marriage. And pray your future husband cares the same for you as you do for him. 

2 comments:

  1. Sadly I think sometimes the church culture puts too much pressure that the great hope is in getting married. I do think in most cases this is God's best plan, but I look at women like Nancy Leigh DeMoss and wonder if we would have these great Bible teachings that bless us if she had gotten married.

    When we struggled with infertility I had to ask myself, Was God truly enough for my soul? If I were to never have this desire of my heart (even though it was a good desire in many ways) will I still keep the same level of joy towards serving God? I wish I had realized the gift of that time more fully.

    I think it is wonderful to do the things you discuss. Domesticity is God's plan for a woman. Do them unto the Lord and they will bless your future husband.

    1 Corinthians 16:34-35: The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.…

    You have so much chance to honor the LORD right where you are. I wish I had realized how much extra time I could have had for ministry when I was waiting for my children. Hopefully at the very least our regrets can be used to minister to others.

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  2. By you I meant not Casey, but all of us where we are in our lives. Honoring him from where we are, allowing our dis-ease to help us realize our complete fulfillment in heaven.

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