The blank screen and the blinking, blinking, blinking cursor defeats me.
Discouragement defeats me.
Lack of energy defeats me.
No joy and laughter defeats me.
Being unable to worship in a fellowship defeats me.
A distant connection with close friends defeats me.
Loss of enthusiasm defeats me.
We get tired of the defeatist attitude after a while don't we? It really doesn't take us anywhere except into the same place we're complaining about: defeat.
The thing is, defeat is a choice. It's an option, not a detestation and too often I see it as the latter instead of the former. How do you get to the edge of the cliff? You walked there. You took one conscious footstep in front of the other until you were looking over the cliff's ledge of defeat.
It's not always that drastic of course, but it can sure seem that way can't it? Right now, I feel as though I'm looking into the face of defeat when it comes to my writing. I've hit a period of "funk" that I'm struggle to crawl out of. I'm in a place where I don't know where to turn from here, so I keep mucking it forward.
Defeat is too often our first option. "Oh, I'm not any good at this, so I guess I'll give it up for right now."
"I don't have any energy for this, so I guess I'll shove it to the back of my mind. Far, far away from any semblance of remembering."
Defeat is the enemy's first attack against your position where God has you. Defeat is not of God. It's not part of His plan for you. Sure, there will be valleys and struggles, but when we hit our lowest, is when God can lift us the highest.
As I was sitting here trying to think of a post for today, I kept feeling defeated by this blinking cursor that only reminded me I didn't have anything to say today. (And I'm still not sure what I have to say is really worth reading).
Should I take a blogging break? Comments and hits are low right now. Maybe readers are ready to move on and I'm ready to throw in the towel. It takes a lot of energy to keep a site like this up and running, is it time to quit?
I was stepping into the mire of defeat and any second (as I contemplated turning to my archives for any post to fill today's empty slot) the devil was going to pull me face first into the pit. Sure taking a archived post for today would not have been a crime, but for me, it would have been another step toward defeat.
I've surrounded myself with enough of that emotion for this week. Discouragement is sure to come our way. It's natural that we're going to be overwhelmed or unsure of what will happen next, but those are times not to be defeated, but reJOYce in what God is calling every single one of us to do: celebrate every single day in His grace. Because there is NO defeat in that!
I appreciate your honesty, sweet friend.
ReplyDeleteAnd I've discovered that God is in all the moments of our lives: the ones splashing and spilling over with JOY! ... and the ones bare bones d-r-y.
And sometimes ... sometimes ... what I think is a dead end is actually a beautiful "You're kidding me, God!" bend in the road.
Keep your eyes open.
I'm nothing if not honest. ;-)
DeleteAnd speaking of honest, I'm going through serious missing the Vogt's withdrawal. Think your husband could prescribe anything for that? Can you believe it's been almost a MONTH!
Trusting on that "You're kidding me, God" moment. :-)
Keep your eyes on the Lord. Rejoice on the Lord always and again I say Rejoice !
ReplyDeleteKeep on blogging please - we all love it!
Thanks, Carla. I honestly don't plan to quit any time. I love it (and you guys) too much!
DeleteI'm sorry to hear it's been a discouraging time for you, Casey. Trust me, we all feel like that many days, whether it's regarding our writing or not. I just read these words from Charles Spurgeon earlier this morning and loved what he had to say.
ReplyDeletePsalm 68:28 "Strengthen, O God, that which thou has wrought for us."
"We often forget that the Author of our faith must be the Preserver of it also. The lamp which was burning in the temple was never allowed to go out, but it had to be daily replenished with fresh oil; in like manner, our faith can only live by being sustained with the oil of grace, and we can only obtain this from God Himself. He who built the world upholds it, or it would fall in one tremendous crash; He must uphold us as well. Let us go to our Lord for the grace and strength we need. We have a strong argument to plead, for it is His own work of grace which we ask Him to strengthen - "that which Thou hast wrought for us." Do you think He will fail to protect and sustain that? Why faint when you may be strong? Why suffer defeat when you may conquer? Oh, take your wavering faith and drooping graces to Him who can revive and replenish them, and earnestly pray, "Strengthen, O God, that which Thou has wrought for us."
I was encouraged by that reminder today and hope you will be too. I'll be praying the Lord renews and refreshes your spirit, Casey. Remember, He will direct your steps.
That was so perfect for me, Savanna. Thank you so much for sharing that with me. The thing of it is, it hasn't been terribly discouraging, but I can feel myself sliding down that wayward slope and I spent too many months there this summer to go back. Praying and trusting God is replenishing my oil. Thank you, friend :-)
DeleteThank you, Casey, for your encouraging words! I needed to hear this today :)
ReplyDeleteI did too, Nicole. :-)
DeleteCasey, I hope you don't quit! I know I don't visit regularly but when I do, it is because the Lord has led me here, to your precious blog, because you have something to say that I need to hear! I know it is from HIM. I have been so discouraged and down this week. Oh, I know I serve a God of hope and healing, but my spirit has been in the pit. But like that Corrie ten Boom quote on my FB timeline, There is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still! I found God's love from you today, my sweet blogging friend. Hang in there. Your words are reaching others for Christ!
ReplyDeleteYou're one of my dearest blogging friends, Anne. We've been doing this a long time together, haven't we? And the thing of it is, I don't know if I could ever give up blogging. This experience has opened the door to so many dear friends (yourself included). It's just so easy to focus on everything BAD that is happening, isn't it? Don't let the devil defeat you. Let's you and me find the JOY in what happens in every day. It's there somewhere. :)
DeleteI agree with the other ladies, Casey. They said it so much better than I could. I think you should keep doing what you're doing, even if something you say encourages or inspires one person . . . It's worth it!
ReplyDeleteKeep on pressing forward, my friend! (((Hugs)))
It is worth it, Michelle. Totally worth it. God only continues to show that to me time and time again. :)
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