DREAM.
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It was the word laid on my heart for 2014. The word I was
going to center my year around. The word I was dedicating back to God and
asking Him to make it clear in my life where this was supposed to take me—spiritually
and possibly physically.
If “dream” was my goal for 2014, then I wasn’t going to just
dream and toss them over my metaphorical shoulder without pursuing them in
faith.
There was the dream of working in publishing. Moving to a
different place and meeting different people. And God blessed that dream and
breathed it into life directly before my eyes.
There is the dream of finding the right man God has for me
and starting a family. There have certainly
been enough of my friends setting me up in this new place, to make a single
girl doubt the longevity of her singleness—but we’ll see.
Then there is the dream of having my name on the spine of a
book. Of those pages being cracked open by readers and having them breathe in
my words. The emotion of that moment when I open the box from the UPS man and
there lies in my book. Real and in front of me—not just on the computer screen.
A beautiful cover and my name in scrolling font across the bottom (or top) of
the novel. A novel with my name on it.
So what do you do with a dream that you’re not actively
pursuing? That you want, but don’t have the motivation to chase. It’s hard to
take the word “dream” and then put aside the one that you’ve fostered for over
8 years.
Is there a time and a place for every dream? Yes. Yes there
is. Is it easy to set those dreams aside? Not always. In fact, I’ll amend that:
never. Not at all. There is a disloyalty it seems. A giving into all the fears
that keep us hiking far and away from our dreams.
When we align ourselves with God’s plans for our life, we
don’t always realize that sometimes we have to accept that not every dream is
for the right time. Could I have continued pursuing my writing during a move
and a new job and working for ACFW? Mmm. Probably. Would I have killed myself?
Definitely.
There is a reason we walk the path we do, especially when we
are aligned completely with God’s will for our lives. There is a reason we walk
through seasons of struggle and hardship and setting one dream aside for
another. Because God’s plans and timing for our lives is beyond perfect. There
is not a single thing He does that is not 100% in our best interest—even if we
perceive this as a struggle—a fight against our own will.
He knows the dreams we are dreaming for ourselves. And He
knows the dreams He is dreaming that are best
for us. So I’m setting one dream aside—not trading it—for another and different
on. The one He has for me now.
And someday I’ll see my name on that cover. Someday indeed.