Friday, April 18, 2014

Please Don't Ruin My Man

 It breaks my heart to see what the flippant female can do to the male heart. I see it more and more in the young men surrounding my home town and the sons of my friends. I see it more and more just walking down the street and all the young men that won’t look me in the eye.

Girls, do you not realize what you hold in your hands when a man surrenders his heart to you? It’s not an easy gift and doesn’t come without a great deal of trust. So why do you throw it back at his feet?

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I watch good guys go to the city, college, or maybe staying in the same town they have always grown up in. I watch them lose their heart to the girl they think they will marry and spend the rest of their life with. I watch them invest so much in wooing this girl. Spending time getting to know her and discover what she enjoys and what she loves. And yet, she’ll turn her back on him and leave him eating her dust.

Please read between the lines: I’m not saying to stay with someone who isn’t the one God has for you. I’m not saying you should treat a man as if he were fragile glass. Treat him like a man. A man who wants to find someone to spend the rest of his life with.

Treat his heart the way you want him to treat yours.

Why do the ladies of our society think they can lead a man on and simply walk away as though he doesn’t care?

It’s these girls, I want to show up on their doorstep and give them a piece of my mind. Because I watch these young men turn their back on the hurt this relationship caused and start to see every girl through the same blurred glasses.

It reflects poorly on me. On my friends in the same situation of wanting to find a good man…only to realize many of the good men have been ruined by a hurtful female. Why do you destroy my chances of a life with the man I could love simply because you were selfish?

There is a line to walk here. A line between getting to know someone to see if you could spend the rest of your life with them and leading them on. You’re not just talking with “some guy”. You’re talking, spending time with, getting to know someone’s husband…maybe yours.

We’ve forced our men into a corner. What pleasure does our world take in that? In making them feel inferior and worthless? Why do we beat our men down? Why do we let our girls tramp her stiletto heels across his back and leave?

Girls. I’m speaking to you right now. Don’t treat a man as though you could live without him. God made a man and woman to be together for a reason and it isn’t all procreation. So please don’t be selfish and slam a door in my face simply because you “wanted to have a good time”.


 Please don’t ruin my man.  

16 comments:

  1. I loved this post. It made me stop and think of how careless I have been. I know that I don't want my husband hurt like that, why would I do it to someone else's?! Thanks for this post!

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    1. It really puts a different perspective on our way of thinking, doesn't it? It makes even me evaluate my relationships a little bit further--a lot deeper and more careful about how and what I say. It's about building relationships and friendships more over building a good time that will crumble because there is no foundation or a desire for a strong foundation. Thanks for coming by and commenting, Julie!

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  2. http://www.pinterest.com/pin/260294053436658036/ Thanks for posting, for making women pause and think. Handling anyone's heart flippantly is dangerous, but I think it's more wounding between a man and a woman, whether you are just dating, or married already; whether just married, or celebrating many years together. The heart is sacred. Tread softly.

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    1. Definitely. Definitely. Thank you for coming by and sharing, Anne. This is a passionate topic for me. Incredibly so.

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  3. Not ruined, but wounded and scarred. My husband had one previous relationship before we met. She demolished his heart - tore it to shreds and left him tattered. I had to work twice as hard to earn his trust and for him to gather his courage and put his heart out there again. But it didn't ruin him, just slowed our pace a little (which, frankly, is often a good idea anyway).

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    1. And those are probably much better words, LadySaotome. From where I sit as a single young woman, passed over several times (most definitely because God has been protecting me, but also I have seen where previous females have done their damage, wounding these men greatly), it seems more as a ruined perspective. It does give me more room to prove myself, but I hate what our society is allowing and even teaching our young ladies today!!

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  4. I love this post Casey! Thank you for speaking up about this! I definitely feel like this is going to make me stop and think.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by Charity and commenting! I'm glad it made an impact for you. :)

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  5. I've never thought of this issue from this side of the aisle.

    Most often I feel like I see girls get led along by "nice guys" who have no idea (or desire) how to take care of a girl's heart. They put on the front of being funny or charming, but only as a means to an end.

    But it is true. I've seen way too many guys in my church get taken out because they "met someone new".

    It's all so far from what God meant for us.

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    1. I am sure you see a lot of the other side as well, I'm just so sick of seeing females doing it to our men. Sigh. If only I could make such a difference for our young women. Makes me pray harder for our young men. Thanks for coming by and commenting, Andrew.

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    1. Way to go girl, you said it well. I am so proud of you telling it like it is. This whole mess has made it harder for you and girls like you. Hang in there though, God will see you through, He will give you the desires of your heart. Love you bunches, keep up the great work. Mama

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    2. Thanks, Mama. So glad you liked the post. You know how passionate I am about this. Love you too. ♥

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  7. What an awesome brave post. I totally agree!

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  8. I might have asked you this already but are you on Twitter?

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  9. This is a timely post. I have often said that men are not devoid of emotions they are just very careful in expressing them. Hurting them will only make it harder for them the next time. Remember ladies dating isn't just a way to spend an evening, a few days, or years. It is for the most part seeing if the man you are dating is the one God has for you. Treat him as a trust from God as he should be treating you.

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