Today I am pleased to share an interview I had with fellow blogger, Josh Regan from While I'm Waiting. I wanted to see what Godly young men thought of modesty, so is our interview...
Why do you as a young man, value modesty?
As a young man committed to physical and emotional purity for my future wife, a woman dressing modestly is a help to me. It keeps me from having to look away from the immodesty and promiscuity making life just a little easier! My future wife will thank the ladies who dressed modestly so as not to cause a stumbling block. A woman who dresses modestly shows not only that she is aware and cares for the heart of men, but also she cares about her husband and is staying faithful to him by not revealing herself to others. Thank you to each woman out there who dresses with propriety and modesty.
So many young women like to flaunt their bodies for attention. How do you avoid it when we are surrounded by it everywhere?
It is very difficult to avoid all the immodesty when it is simply everywhere. However, daily prayer regarding the matter and asking God to protect my eyes and heart as I go out is key. Gratefully, I have a momma and six sisters who are aware of ladies who are dressed immodestly and immediately let me know “Don’t look over to you left!” or something similar. Because of my passion for keeping my heart, mind, and soul pure before God and for my future wife (if the Lord wills), when I see a woman dressed immodestly, I divert my eyes and look else where. If I find myself in a situation where I am in a group with an immodestly dressed woman, I may excuse myself discreetly. Another option: dismissing myself was not appropriate at a wedding I recently attended, so I strategically placed myself so I was not face to face with immodesty.
Can modesty be taken too far, become an obsession in your opinion?
Modesty is an issue of the heart. In our family, we have traveled the journey of being more focused on the outward appearance of modesty and overlooking the heart of modesty. I don’t know if modesty was an “obsession”, but it did seem to become it’s own law: an idol in itself.
“But now we have been delivered from the law, having died to what we were held by, so that we should serve in the newness of the spirit and not in the oldness of the letter.” Romans 7:6
We as Christians, should be living in the Holy Spirit and following His leading. The focus of modesty is to please the Lord through our dress, it is not about the law.
What does it mean to you when you see young women modestly clothed?
When I see women, young and old alike, who are dressing modestly, I want to go right up and thank them. First, they are following what they find in scripture and seeking to be obedient to the leading of the Holy Spirit.
“In like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation…” 1 Timothy 2:9
Second, by dressing modestly, they are protecting the young men who might otherwise fall into lust and sin. By not being a stumbling block to young men, they are protecting them, as well as saving themselves for their future husband.
If you could talk with the lost young women of today’s society, what would you want them to know? Besides salvation or the need for Christ, what would you tell them about how they dress and what it communicates?
Men are wired visually. God made us that way. When a woman is dressed immodestly and flaunting her body, this causes a huge problem for a man. Men are drawn to the figure of a woman’s body, and when ladies are showing everything, this is prime opportunity to lust. Lust is no small issue. Matthew 5:28 says:
”But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Adultery! That is what lust is. Whether or not women admit to this, they know when they are dressing to attract attention and at a minimum, visually seduce a man. It hurts my heart because they are causing big trouble for men. Men are being defiled because of the way women are dressing. Most guys like the “easy girls”, but for a young man who is saving himself for his future wife and striving to lead a life of purity, this is damaging and unappreciated… For a married man who is living faithfully to his wife and guarding his heart against the seductions of the world, having immodest women all over is potentially damaging and unappreciated!
On a note to the women: dressing to attract male attention is not what your heart really yearns for. Dressing for men to admire you is shallow and will leave you empty. You are attracting the wrong attention. Men who are attracted to you or pretend to “love” you based on your ability to visually seduce them are not men worth having. Their “love” is not true love and is cheaper than the penny tucked inside your pocket. These men are not worth a dime per dozen. Their love has nothing to do with who you are as a person, but about pleasing themselves. Seek modesty! Clothe yourself modestly! Love is not based on looks, but on the person beneath the looks.
Being pure plays a HUGE role in modesty, but not everyone is committed, why are you?
God created the relationship between a man and a woman to be sacred. The world has turned sex into cheap fulfillment and temporary pleasure.
Genesis 2:24 says:
“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Becoming one flesh isn’t something to take lightly. It is between ONE man and ONE woman! If God brings me a wife in the future, I certainly don’t want her to be one flesh with another man. And likewise, what woman wants a man who has been joined to another woman?
“..but be an example to the believers in the word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity…” 1 Timothy 4:12
“Do not commit adultery” Exodus 20:14
In 1 Corinthians 6:18, Paul says: “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.”
Read the last half of 1 Corinthians chapter 6. Also, read 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and Matthew 5:27-32. Do a study on purity and sexual immorality in your Bible. Read what it has to say in God’s Word.
Cheap relationships, unfaithfulness, and broken hearts are an epidemic in our culture today. I see the damage that it causes. I see the emptiness as a result. I don’t want that for me or my future wife. I want a wife who has saved herself for her husband alone, who has protected her innocence, her heart, and her purity. Likewise, I am determined to give no less. By God’s grace, I am blessed to have parents who support and encourage living in purity. They have guided me and taught me in the way of the Lord, and been my earthly counselors.
I think of myself as a knight in a world full of evil: battling to keep myself from being corrupted and overcome by the sin of the world, pressing on to save a lady who is waiting patiently to be rescued. She has kept herself dutifully from being swayed by the forces of sin, and I want to be worthy of her.
You are obviously not just mouthing the words, you honestly believe them. Why are you so passionate on this topic?
The answer to this question lies in all the other answers shared. Basically, God is passionate about purity and modesty and so am I. The words “modesty” and “purity” ought not be confused with contemporary, youth-group buzz words like “virginity” and “abstinence”. Virginity is not the same thing as purity. Young men and women today can use those words, but they merely reflect something on the outside. Modesty and purity however, reflect the heart. It is real to me and needs to be real for all of us…we need to encourage one another because it is a lie to think that you can be pure while dressing immodestly. A lady who says she is pure, yet does not dress herself modestly and with propriety cannot be taken seriously or respected. What is on the outside is merely a reflection of the inside. Immodesty is greatly impacting our culture today. Each day, God presses deeper in my heart the need for modesty in our world, and the passion grows as a result. Consider God’s holy Word. Take a stand to dress modestly for the sake of honoring the Lord Jesus, and practice “…doing good (to your husband) all the days of your life”…starting now! (Proverbs 31:12)
WOW, I don't know about you, but if ever anything made me want to continue to dress the way I do and live my life with purity and integrity, this is the interview.
I want to thank Josh for taking the time to do this interview with me, you have inspired me alone.
Tomorrow will be another interview with fellow blogger, Adam from One Texan's View. This will conclude my series on Modesty- A Matter of the Heart. Until then I want to leave you with this parting message from the Word.
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12
May we as future wives and wives to your husbands take this to heart and be a woman/ wife of noble character who takes care in how she presents her body.
