I was always the kid in my family who, when we went to Subway, would always get a tuna sandwhich on a round roll of bread. Always. And no lettuce.
I'm the kid that my mom had to drag out of the children's book section at the library, because I didn't want to change to chapter books.
And I'm the adult now that, though I like to "go with the flow", I don't like things to change. I love the status quo. I want people to stay where they are and be there when I know they will be there.
I don't like change. Period.
This struck me aknew when my dad and I were traveling across the United States. I don't even really remember what was goin on now, but something happened and we had to make a change of plans. My chest got all tight, my lungs wouldn't pull in enough air and I asked the all-fateful question. "What if?"
Now you'd think as a budding writer, I would like change. I would want to see what is around the next bend, but the truth of the matter is, I would rather stay on the straight and narrow road, no bushes or trees in sight to block my view and not a bend in any kind of view.
But when you take a good hard look at my lack of wanting to change. My lack of wanting to try something new, it's dragging a ball and chain called a lack of trust. Fears creep in, doubts arise and I tell myself this can never happen. This will never work, so why really bother trying?
Of course, if this "change" is something that will benefit me personally, I'm all for it! But throw in some added complications for life and those I love and uh-uh. Baby, the heels are digging in. See those little trenches in the dirt? Yep, those are mine.
But it was on that trip that I realized something...I don't like change, because I don't trust enough. My dad was driving, we were going to be fine. The fact that I can't remember now, proves that we were going to be fine.
And when a change comes up in my spiritual life, or my life that God has said, it's time to move forward, why would I pitch a fit? He's always taken care of me. He's never let me down. As long as I listen to His voice, He's never steered me wrong.
Your turn: So what about you? Do you balk at change? Throw a fit when it blocks your way?
Picture Credit
What a great time to demonstrate trust. Curious to hear more.
ReplyDelete~ Wendy
I like change for some things but not for others. As strange as it sounds I like big change. We'll be moving to a new state next Fall for my husband to start seminary and I'm really excited about it. Not the move itself, but the new opportunities. However, you better not change the flavor of my favorite ice cream or I might have a meltdown (only a slight exaggeration). I guess I'm weird like that.
ReplyDeleteI am so with you Casey! I do not like change...at all! But I have found that when things or circumstances change in my life it is usually for the BETTER. So why do I hate it so much? Like you said, it is a lack of trust on my part. I know that the Lord has only my best in His plan. He has proven it over and over again. But I still balk at that change. Sigh! I don't like being shaken out of my comfort zone.
ReplyDeleteOh, Casey, I hear you. Funny when I stumbled on your blog a year ago I never realized how much we had in common :)
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what I needed to hear today. Chris has been at his new job for a month and a half. God clearly showed us he wanted us to make the move BUT we really struggle because its something where we can't see with the eyes WHY he wanted Chris to make this move. You're right, it is definitely a trust issue.
I'm not a fan of change either, because it stretches me and grows me and I have to think more instead of going on auto-pilot.
ReplyDeleteSigh. You'd think I'd be used to it by now.
Change ...
ReplyDeleteChange I plan on ... change I want ... wow, I'm all about that!
But change that interrupts my plans?
Not so much.
And you're right, it all boils down to trust. Am I trusting God or trusting me?
Right now as I walk through a heartbreaking change in a close friend's life, I'm embracing Psalm 63:8 -- "My soul clings to You..." because there's no safer place than to throw myself into God's arms when life doesn't make sense.
I"m just the opposite. I love change. I love new and exciting things. Something I rearrange things just to have a change :)
ReplyDeleteChange can be tough. But with it can come wonderful new adventures and heavenly blessings! The changes in my life have taken me to wonderful places in my Christian walk.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing, Casey!
LOL Casey no wonder I like you so much, we like the same books and we Hate (yes I made that an uppercase "H" on purpose). I gotta say that I'm always one to do the same ol' same ol' but also like you I think it stems from some kind of fear or lack of trust. Now I'm not a person who goes crazy if the living room furniture gets re-arranged but tweak my schedule a bit and I *might* get a bit frazzled. Sigh I guess I have to learn that sometimes change IS good, after all if we didn't have change I wouldn't have my Kindle and a new way to get books to love. :-)
ReplyDeleteXOXO~ Renee C.
WENDY, sometimes it can be so hard, but I hope (and know) that God will continue to tap on my shoulder to remind me.
ReplyDeleteKACIE, so good to see you again! What a great chance for you and your husband, I'm so glad for you both and that you are able to support him in this. Hopefully by that times comes, you'll be ready for the change and the chances it will bring. Which is really what it's all about right? The chances God brings our way out of the uncomfortable. :)
JULIE, me neither. I'm HUGE into comfort zone. Which is why GOD should be our ultimate comfort zone, right? :)
JULIA, it blows me away at times too. ;-) Why is it the hardest changes are the ones that are usually the best ones for us?? I wish it didn't have to be that way, but most of the time it is.
ReplyDeleteERICA, right there with you. And so correct with the auto-pilot statement. I like my little rut. It's mine, don't touch it, don't jostle me out. But sometimes- MOST times a new rut is a good thing. ;)
BETH, I loved what you said: trusting God or trusting me? I think that's why I didn't like our little trip mishap. Because I was trusting man's made plans, maps and decisions when God knew we would be taken care of. His plans are always perfect for each of us.
SHERI, lol, I love that! I actually have this quirk I want to give to a character that always changes her living room furniture when something bad happens in her life. That was totally off topic...
ReplyDeleteCHERYL, (love your new pic, btw!!) Yes! Which is why I need to trust MORE and know that God has my best interests at heart!
RENEE, are you a planner too??? LOL! I love to know what is coming next. I plan ahead, I want to know what tomorrow's goals are. And I can get frazzled too when those goals or ideas of what tomorrow is, gets tampered with. Sigh. You and me both, girl!
Thanks for the GREAT discussion everyone, I value your comments, truly! God is good to surround me with a community such as you.
ReplyDeleteI always love coming home from work to "chat" with you!
I don't embrace change with open arms. It generally takes me a while to adjust to new things. However, I'm working on stretching myself. I don't want to be one of "those people" stuck in the past bemoaning "the way things are." While I doubt I'll ever be one of those on the cutting edge, I hope I'm not one of those lagging too far behind either.
ReplyDeleteI tend to look, watch and learn when it comes to something new too, Keli. I think in some ways it's probably a good thing--it means we're not swept up in every wind that blows by. :)
ReplyDeleteYup, I balk at change. I find comfort in the predictible. Sometimes I think I'm sooo conservative because I feel like I need to balance out my husband who has absolutely no problems whatsoever mixing things up. LOL.
ReplyDeleteHow's your writing coming?
JOY, I know what you're saying. Predictible is say, no? LOL, though in your case it might be a good thing to keep that hubby in check. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThe writing is good! I'm working on a new novel and editing an old one, but it's coming together. Constantly learning. Have you started that new one you wanted to get around to?? NaNo...? :)