Choices to be joyful.
Choices to be grateful.
Choices to surrender.
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Except...He's not a thing. He's my Savior. My Rock. My Salvation. And too often I turn to something or someone else in times of struggle and strife to release my emotions to. And like the book pointed out last night, there is nothing inherently wrong with going to friends and family...God gave us those people for a reason. What becomes wrong is they become my default.
The book asked another question: who comes to mind first when you have a joy or a struggle you want/need to share? I paused. And the answer was incredibly convicting: not Jesus.
Of course in larger and bigger struggles than what I can handle within my two fists, He is the first one I run too, cry too, weep before. But the day-to-day struggles? The strife at the workplace or the frustration with my writing or even the accomplishment of a simple contest submission or a synopsis finished, who do I turn to first to share all this?
Jesus isn't my answer as much as I would have liked to say He is. God wants every part of my life. Not just the struggles. Not just the joys. Not just the "God, help me!" or "God, please provide a way" bellows from my soul's deepest caverns, He wants it all.
Do I want God in every part of my life? I don't even hesitate in saying: YES. But it starts with me. Too often I like to put the weight on God, that He'll show up when I need Him most and I'll keep muttering a prayer here or there throughout the day. But it's my choice to invite Him in. He's right there, waiting for me, it's my choice to open the door wider. God's not a door-barger or an envelope pusher (yes, I do recognize that I am mixing my metaphors).
Humans have the glorious decision of free will.
Human have the weight-filled decision or free will. With that free will we can let God in or push Him away.
I talk a lot about giving God our dreams. Aligning our plans perfectly with His even greater and deeper dreams for our lives. To truly mean what I say, I have to communicate more than just my heart's desires to God, I have to communicate everything within my heart to the Savior of my soul.
I have to ask (and mean it) every day for God to make me more like Him.
So which do you choose? Life as you know it? Or a deeper, stronger walk with God, one where everything is His...by your choice.
Casey, You're a blessing! This is such a timely post and quite convicting. For that, I am eternally thankful! As I laid here last night in so much pain and near tears, my first thought was to put out a prayer request on FB, to reach out to my friends that I know would lift me up to the Father, stand in the gap for me. But you know what? A quiet voice inside my heart said, "No. Ask Me. Talk to Me!" So I did. I prayed and cried to the Lord for pain relief, for perseverance to endure this time I am in, this place I am at. And you know what? Slowly the relief came and I was able to sleep. Hours I slept without waking! And the only one who knew was Him.
ReplyDeleteThat's probably not all grammatically or punctually correct but you know what I mean :)
It's convicting for me too, Anne! I think I need the daily or rather minute-to-minute reminder! Praise GOD for answered prayers and relieving your pain. I'm so sorry that you've had to be put through this, but praying along side you that through it all you will draw closer to God.
DeleteI know EXACTLY what you mean and your comment lifted my spirits today as well. :)
I LOVE this, Casey!! What devotional are you reading??
ReplyDeleteWe need to set up that Skype call, I miss chatting. :)
Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman
DeleteI know! Whatever happened to getting that done?!