I don't want to be your friend.
Keep reading. I do plan to explain myself.
I have realized something recently. I want to be friends--best friends--with my future spouse. There is not one question in my mind that this is something I want above many, many other things.
But so often I hear this one simple phrase: "let's just be friends". And I have to admit, it makes my skin tingle, my pulse throb and my vision go blurry.
Keep reading. Don't get upset with me yet, I plan to continue explaining myself.
Guys and girls can't truly be just friends. I do believe in special and certain circumstances that yes, guys and girls can be friends. I'm friends with several different guys, but we aren't friends like I am with several special and dear girlfriends. I don't IM them funny thoughts or serious questions. I don't text them throughout the day or specifically seek out time to chat with just them.
There is a difference. There needs to be a difference. That guy? He's someone else's husband. He's not my husband. As a Christian sister, it's my job to protect myself and him in how we interact. How we communicate. Because he's not mine.
And that's okay.
So I don't want to be "just" friends.
In a culture where we struggle to embrace commitment is it no wonder when a guy and girl are paired up, that our first defense to protect our hearts is to say, "let's just be friends"?
What if it doesn't work out? What if something happens and this person doesn't turn out to be "the one"?
Well, then God is protecting both you and him.
But honesty is not our first level of communication in our society. Instead we stumble and stutter. I don't lay this blame at any one particular door. But I do blame it on the path we have stumbled off. Our culture is so saturated in "hooking up". Dating. That we have forgotten the way it should be and we are slowly trying to muddle our way back to that place...many times unsuccessfully.
What if we were honest with ourselves? With each other? What if instead of thinking--or saying--"let's just be friends", we sat down, met the other in the eye, and said "I think there is something here. What would you think about getting to know each other better?"
What if we said that; took this "relationship" seriously, and started walking in Godly wisdom and discernment, the path of direction and open communication?
So often, guys and girls don't know what the other is thinking. "Does he like me?" "Does she think I'm worth her time?" It's the mantra of our dating-minded society and miscommunication is the #1 reason for nearly all breakups.
What would happen if we communicated openly and honestly? If we allowed our hearts to be a little bit more exposed? And got to know the opposite sex through the lens of "could I marry this person?" If we were cautious. Bathed every interaction and connection in prayer. And were intentional about we got to know the other person.
These are just thoughts. By no means absolutes. But things I think about frequently. Have happened to me. And now I'm considering the future. The people around me. And our society in general.
Talking points: do you agree or disagree that guys and girls can be "just" friends?
Do you have a problem with today's model of young people meeting and "hooking" up?
9 hours ago