Can I Change the Landscape? Let’s Just all Dourt

I don’t believe in dating.

I don’t believe in courting.

Before the hate mail starts coming please keep reading. (Mama, don’t hyperventilate, let me finish. ;-)

I don’t believe in the world’s standard called dating.

I don’t believe in what the world believes about courting.

So I’ll keep going. Take a deep breath. This post is not out to attack any one person. Any one decision. My blog is a place for my thoughts and convictions—thoughts and convictions others may or may not share. And honestly, what I’m about to share may change in my life depending on my circumstances. But these are my standards. These are my convictions. So with that disclaimer out of the way, I’ll keep going…

There has been some hot and heated discussion around the ‘net lately about courting, dating and how you should or should not do it. Funny thing is, a lot of this advice seems to come from us singles who haven’t really done too much of either. (Speaking for myself included).

I grew up with the thought that I would live at home until I got married and courtship would play a big part in that process. And yet, I’m now living in Colorado, a thousand miles from home, still single and any kind of relationship process is going to look a lot different.

The concept of “courting” is that much of it is done within the home of either her or him, group settings a very intentional way of getting to know someone. My dad always described this process as an “interview”—the most important one you’ll have of your life.

So many view this standard through the legalistic blinders. And yes it’s true, many people do take this a more legalistic direction. That’s their decision. And courtship can’t be viewed entirely out of the bias of one individual—though they are welcome to their opinion.

Dating on the other hand, to me, has a more worldly standard that I shy away from. A system that has sent our young people up to flit back and forth between boyfriend/girlfriend with no sense of commitment or stability. A mini “divorce and remarriage” every time you swap a significant other.

Can I propose (no pun intended) a completely new, different and fresh term? One whose definition is not skewed by bias or history or background? I think it has a catchy name too: “Dourting”.

This is what I want to do.

I’ll define “dourting” in a quick one phrase summary: “a chance for two people, of the opposite sex, to meet, get to know the other without the pressure of a ‘ring by spring’ mentality at the end, in a safe, comfortable environment for both parties with clear boundaries set in place, but an understanding of truly getting to know this person that you may end up committing yourself to.”

Sidenote: I tended to get, shall I say, a bit prolific in this post and went far over my 500 word limit. So next week I will continue the post series with a stronger definition of what "dourting" is exactly and how and where every relationship we walk into, whether it will become something more, should be centered around. 

In the meantime, a question for you: what is your initial when someone says they are "courting" or if they say they are "dating". 

Giveaway! Beneath the Forsaken City by C.E. Laureano!

Welcome to Writing for Christ C.E. Laureano, it is great to have you here! So you’re a writer? What made you decide to start creating characters and story world?

Thanks for having me, Casey! That’s a tricky question to answer. I’ve loved stories as long as I can remember. In fact, pretty much all of the pictures of me as a child seem to show a book in my hand or within easy reach. I started writing short stories (and very tiny novellas) when I was 7 years old. It wasn’t until I was severely injured in high school and had to put my dreams of being a professional ballet dancer aside that I got serious about writing novels, though. The stories have always been buzzing around in my head; I suppose it just took some age and some confidence to get me to put them down in longer form.

What is the one title that has significantly impacted your life?

I’m going to be a rebel here and pick two. The first title that impacted my life as a reader and a general devourer of stories was The Secret Garden, which I think I read in second or third grade. Up until that point, I’d been reading small kids’ chapter books, which were fun but light. The Secret Garden had this magic and depth that just resonated with me, even as a child. (It probably also helped further my fascination with the British Isles and India, which just so happen to pop up in my writing today.)

The second title that impacted me as a writer is Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay. It was the one that

took me beyond Lewis and Tolkein and showed me that there were some fantasy writers doing amazing things. It was primarily because of Kay that I got into both reading and writing fantasy, and I still cite him as the biggest influence on my work today.

If you could get a do-over when it came to learning this whole thing called writing, what would you go back and tell yourself?

Get plugged into a writing community sooner. I only knew about the organizations that catered to published authors; I didn’t know about things like ACFW even existed until I had refined my craft to publication level! I could have saved myself a lot of trial and error and maybe shaved some years off my journey had I known to find a writing group/mentor/organization when I started to write seriously for publication.

5 preference questions:

Homemade or take-out? Homemade. Even on deadline countdowns when I know I won’t cook, I stock up on organic frozen meals so I don’t have to resort to take-out.

Email or snailmail? Email. We’ve gone paperless in our house! It’s a beautiful thing.

Online shopping or Black Friday deals? Online shopping. Crowds make me anxious. A weird thing for an extrovert to say, I know, but people get crazy when bargains are at stake!

Books or movies? Hard one. They’re both vehicles for storytelling and I couldn’t live without either of them! But if you forced me to answer, I’d have to say books.

Note-taker or memorization? Note-taker. My memory is horrible, and the busier I get, the worse it gets. If I lost my planner, I’d be doomed!

               

Yes, I’m asking you to play favorites…which of your books is your favorite, published or unpublished? And if this is your debut novel, has your favorite been published yet?

FREE right now on Amazon!
Get your copy now! (link below)

This is even trickier than the books vs. movies question. Right now, I’d have to say The Sword and the Song, which is the third and final book in the Song of Seare series (September 2015). It was by far the hardest, most intense thing I’ve ever written, but getting it finished and sending it on its way to publication was like seeing that rebellious child finally graduate from college. I am immensely proud of what it’s become.

Places for readers to learn more about you?

You can visit me at any of these places, but right now Twitter is my favorite:

Web | Facebook | Twitter | Google+ | Pinterest

Thank you for being with us today!

Thanks for hosting me, Casey!

Readers, enter to win Carla's book here! AND make sure that you download her first book in this series for FREE the 24th thru the 31st here: Oath of the Brotherhood.

Please leave an email address! If I draw your name and there is no email, you will not win.

For extra entries:

~Be a follower

~Be a subscriber

Contest is only open in the U.S. and void where prohibited. Chances of winning are based on the number of entries and winner is draw from a non-biased third party- Random.org. I am not responsible for any lost or damaged items for said prize.

Thanks for coming by to enter! Contest ends on February 6th

Attn Readers! If you're struggling to leave a comment on my blog, please email your comment entries (in ONE email) and I will submit it for you. But PLEASE only do this after you've failed to leave a comment. My email is: caseym.writer(@)gmail.com

Grace, Hope and New Beginnings

Occasionally I will be sharing a more devotional type post with you. One of my favorites from the blog I contribute to on a weekly basis, Wonderfully Woven. If you are looking for encouragement, an opportunity to be uplifted and friends to come alongside you on your journey through life with Christ, be sure and visit. We have much to offer. But enough with the shameless promotion. :-) Instead, I'll just share my post and hope it encourages you!

It’s the fresh blanket of snow on the ground. It’s the green grass that grows in the spring. The flowers that dare to peek their colorful bulbs out of the earth and subject themselves to the threat of frost.

It’s the promise of the empty tomb. The white bride on her wedding day. The gift of forgiveness and the warmth of a hug.

It’s a new beginning. The opening of a flower, the fresh star of a new season.

God’s grace is that. A new beginning. A new promise. The chance to start over and have everything wrong we’ve ever done cast as far as the east is from the west.

Grace is one of my favorite words. Another is hope. The two truly go hand in hand. We hope for the new beginning Jesus promises to us. And grace extends a hand to our hope, wraps its warm fingers around ours and pulls us close, whispering promises of every new chance. Every new hope.

We have hope in Jesus coming back and taking us as His bride to Heaven on the Day of Judgment. We have grace knowing we are forgiven and loved by a Savior that gave His all for our salvation.

May is one of my favorite months out of the year. It springs forth new life and promises the rebirth of all that was old and dead and dormant during the long, cold winter. When we breathe in the hope and promise of a new beginning it almost seems as though nothing can daunt us. The world is in the palm of our hand and we can take on anything with just a pair of flip flops and a hat to keep the sun from burning our cheeks.

When we strip away all our insecurities, throw away the fears and wrap ourselves in the warmth of the Son’s love there is nothing that can defeat us.

For if God is for us, then who can stand against us? Who? Nothing can stand against us. Nothing can stand between us and the new beginning that God gives us through the death and resurrection of His Son.

When I think of what Jesus has done to give me a new beginning, my heart swells with a deep-seated love and longing for this Man that came to earth for me…for you.

He gave us a new beginning in our relationships. In our marriage. In our friendships. In our jobs. In our lives. It doesn’t matter what the past says about you; that’s not what God says about you. It doesn’t matter where you’ve gone and what you’ve done. God has forgiven that and given you a new beginning in Him.

His grace gives us hope that there is more to this life then just muddling through. Then just making a mistake. Then feeling like a failure. Then wondering if you will ever “arrive” or “make it”.

You might have sensed a theme throughout this post. I hope so. Because I want you to know that your new beginning doesn’t have an expiration date. It doesn’t disappear if you don’t take advantage of it soon enough or lose it because you’ve made too many mistakes.

Don’t doubt the power of God’s love. His new beginning is your grace. Your salvation. Your hope. 

Giveaway! Hidden Agenda by Lisa Harris!

Welcome to Writing for Christ Lisa Harris, it is great to have you here! So you’re a writer? What made you decide to start creating characters and story world?

Thank you so much for having me!! For years I honestly thought that everyone had characters running around in their heads, and I was simply someone who decided to write them down. My mother-in-law assured me one day that wasn’t true. I now look at it as a gift that I want to use for God. That’s partly what got me started and definitely what keeps me writing.

What is the one title that has significantly impacted your life?

I would have to say the very first book I wrote. I can’t even remember the title, but it was about a couple’s journey through infertility, something I was going through myself. It was never published, but it taught me so much about life, and loss, and God, and was instrumental in my own healing.

If you could get a do-over when it came to learning this whole thing called writing, what would you go back and tell yourself?

The whole process has been a journey of learning for me, and I’m not sure I’d changed anything to be honest. There have been tons of lows—wondering why I was doing this, thinking it’s too hard, convinced no one would read my books—along with a few highs. I’ve learned that awards might be given one day, but someone else gets them the next, so you can’t relay on the ups to keep you going, nor can you rely on the lows—often lies and discouragements about who you are—to stop you. I’ve tried to enjoy the journey and learning process, but probably would simply tell myself to work hard and enjoy the ride!

5 preference questions:

Homemade or take-out? Homemade—which is good because where we live we made everything from scratch!

Email or snailmail? Email—living overseas it’s such a blessing!

Online shopping or Black Friday deals? And I’ve also come to love online shopping since we have no malls where we are.

Books or movies? Books, of course!

Note-taker or memorization? Note-taker—I have to write everything down.

               

Yes, I’m asking you to play favorites…which of your books is your favorite, published or unpublished? And if this is your debut novel, has your favorite been published yet?

That is so hard! I’m going to say, Blood Ransom, because it was the first time I was able to write the book I wanted to write. You know, that book from the heart. It was a romantic suspense, set in Africa. . .I loved writing that book!

Places for readers to learn more about you?

Would love to hear from you! I have a website at www.lisaharriswrites.com.

Thank you for being with us today!

Thank you so much for having me!

Readers, enter to win Lisa's book here! 

Please leave an email address! If I draw your name and there is no email, you will not win.

For extra entries:

~Be a follower

~Be a subscriber

Contest is only open in the U.S. and void where prohibited. Chances of winning are based on the number of entries and winner is draw from a non-biased third party- Random.org. I am not responsible for any lost or damaged items for said prize.

Thanks for coming by to enter! Contest ends on January 30th

Attn Readers! If you're struggling to leave a comment on my blog, please email your comment entries (in ONE email) and I will submit it for you. But PLEASE only do this after you've failed to leave a comment. My email is: caseym.writer(@)gmail.com 

Stop Putting God in a Box OR My Final DREAM Post for 2014

It’s been a year of living with a word that has changed my life.

Dream.

God whispered the word over my heart in October 2013, nudging me towards truly dreaming towards the goals and desires laid deep in my heart.

They were scary dreams. Dreams that I could easily push aside, because no matter how much I might want them, they would require me to stretch out of my comfort zone. Go beyond what was comfortable for me.

I don’t like going beyond what is comfortable and familiar to me. I like the here and now. The safe and secure. But safe and secure doesn’t challenge you. At least it doesn’t challenge me. And God was asking me to dream.

How often do you put God in a box? How often do you say: “this is what I believe you can do and we’re not going over this X limit, God. So, thanks.”

The only person those kind of prayers does a disservice to is you. And the reason we do it? We’re coming back to fear again. How often do we dare to pray for something that seems so far beyond all comprehension and belief that it seems almost impossible for us to achieve? Something that might as well just be scoffed at, because the possibility of that happening to us is, well, impossible.

We don’t pray those kind of prayers often. And I dare to say, that even when I toe into the waters of deeper dreaming, I’m still cringing at the chilliness of the stream.

God’s dreams for us aren’t babbling brooks in the corner of a peaceful meadow. God’s dreams for us are rushing rivers, pulsing towards the very best interest He has at heart. Scripture promises this. And yet so often we refuse to surrender fully and let the rush of those waters carry us along.

God told me to dream in 2014. To not put Him in a box and see what He would do. To move forward with a passion for life and a constant expectation that He was about to do something awesome.

And He did.

As I look back on 2014, I’m awed. I’m humbled. I’m grateful. But I’m not done dreaming. In fact, a couple months ago, God laid another dream on my heart. A dream that when it thumped me between the eyes, I literally went: “You’ve got to be kidding, God. Something like that will never happen for me.”

Did I really just back talk to God? Oh yes, I did.

God’s plans on our lives aren’t held to the ground by human’s finite abilities, expectations, social status or fear. This is God we’re talking about and to. The Creator of the universe. His passion for us is unending. His plans for our lives whispered in our hearts and ears as dreams that push us forward.

If we let Him.

God told me to dream. I dreamed.

And I’m not stopping yet. My life isn’t over. And neither are the dreams.

Are you dreaming crazy dreams with God?

Giveaway! Rodeo Family by Shannon Taylor Vannatter!

Welcome to Writing for Christ Shannon Vannatter, it is great to have you here! So you’re a writer? What made you decide to start creating characters and story world?

I had a creative writing class in the 3^rd grade and loved it. My teacher was very complimentary and encouraging about a few short stories I wrote. But I never had any other classes like that. As a preteen, we moved away from all my friends and it took me a while to acclimate. With lots of alone time, I created a story in my head. Sometimes, I’d act it out in my locked bedroom with lots of drama.

Since I watched a lot of hunky detective shows, my story was a damsel in distress and cute detective to the rescue. I’d add scenes, more drama, and change the end. I thought it was a movie, but I didn’t want to go to Hollywood, so I didn’t know what to do with it.

When I was fifteen, I met my future husband and started living my own romance. I forgot about

the story. Until fifteen years later when my husband started working evenings. We didn’t have our son yet and I needed something to occupy my evenings. I went to the library to find clean romance books like I’d read as a teen, but I couldn’t find any.

That’s when I remembered my long ago story and thought—Hey, that could be a book. Once I started writing it, my characters kept talking to God. Even though I was unaware of the Christian fiction market, I let them. I didn’t know about Christian books because the library didn’t really carry them back then. Fourteen years later, that story became my 8^th published title, Rodeo Queen. I had to go back and completely rewrite it because when I originally wrote it, I didn’t have a clue what I was doing.

What is the one title that has significantly impacted your life?

The standard response for a Christian is the Bible, I’m sure. It’s truly a life changing book. Other than that, I can’t remember the story, title, or author, but it was a Heartsong Presents book. It was the first inspirational romance I’d ever read. I’d completed my book, learned there was a Christian market and a writing friend loaned me a Heartsong. It was an awesome experience to read a clean romance with a gospel message like I’d written and know it had gotten published. I had a lot to learn though. I stopped counting rejections at 200 and spent the next 9 1/2 years attending conferences and workshops before I finally got published.

If you could get a do-over when it came to learning this whole thing called writing, what would you go back and tell yourself?

This is a book, you dork. If I’d realized that story in my head was a book, I’d have started writing sooner.

5 preference questions:

Homemade or take-out? Homemade, if I don’t have to make it. I sincerely hate cooking. I do it anyway, but it frustrates the life out of me.

Email or snailmail? Email. I never was much of a letter writer even before email.

Online shopping or Black Friday deals? Online. I hide under the covers on Black Friday. Besides I’m not a morning person. Even though I’m an avid bargain shopper, no bargain is worth that.

Books or movies? Books definitely. And I like paper. I only read digital if it’s a title by one of my favorite authors and it doesn’t come in paper. I like seeing my books lined up on the shelf. When they’re in my tablet, I don’t feel like I really own the book.

Note-taker or memorization? Note-taker definitely. Ever since my son was born, my memory is gone.         

Yes, I’m asking you to play favorites…which of your books is your favorite, published or unpublished? And if this is your debut novel, has your favorite been published yet?

Rodeo Queen will probably always be my favorite since it lived in my head for so long. But I love all of them and I miss the characters after I complete their books. Especially when I end a series. Maybe that’s why my rodeo series has gone on for so long—I’m attached to the characters.

Places for readers to learn more about you?

Learn more about Shannon and her books at http://shannonvannatter.com and check out her real life romance blog at http://shannonvannatter.com/blog/. Connect with her on Facebook: http://facebook.com/shannontaylorvannatter, Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/29672798-shannon-vannatter, Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/stvannatter/, and Twitter: @stvauthor.

Thank you for being with us today!

Thanks Casey :)

Readers, enter to win Shannon's book here! 

Please leave an email address! If I draw your name and there is no email, you will not win.

For extra entries:

~Be a follower

~Be a subscriber

Contest is only open in the U.S. and void where prohibited. Chances of winning are based on the number of entries and winner is draw from a non-biased third party- Random.org. I am not responsible for any lost or damaged items for said prize.

Thanks for coming by to enter! Contest ends on January 23rd

Attn Readers! If you're struggling to leave a comment on my blog, please email your comment entries (in ONE email) and I will submit it for you. But PLEASE only do this after you've failed to leave a comment. My email is: caseym.writer(@)gmail.com 

Giveaway! Return to Exile by Lynne Gentry!

Welcome to Writing for Christ Lynne Gentry, it is great to have you here! So you’re a writer? What made you decide to start creating characters and story world?

I grew up on a Kansas dairy farm. Our cows didn’t travel. So neither did my family. I longed for adventure. I wanted to visit exotic places and meet famous people. Imaginary trips became my escape from rural isolation. In an instant, my mind could magically transform a tree house into a medieval castle, hay bales into a pioneer fort, or a dank root cellar into a time portal that could transport me into the ancient civilizations of the Bible. In my make-believe world, I was bold, brave, and beautiful. The heroes were handsome and romantic. Humanity’s fate hung in the balance. Good always triumphed over evil. And in the end, I left the past in far better shape than I found it. Outlandish journeys still feed my creative soul. I love to explore Roman baths or traipse through old English castles. My mind goes crazy imagining myself living in those times.

What is the one title that has significantly impacted your life?

I loved Anne of Green Gables. She is a spunky example of God’s ability to redeem every life.

If you could get a do-over when it came to learning this whole thing called writing, what would you go back and tell yourself?

My husband says if it weren’t for guilt trips I wouldn’t go anywhere. What mother doesn’t regret something in the past? I would tell myself that everything and everyone does not have to be perfect … including me.

5 preference questions:

Homemade or take-out? Love homemade, but live on take-out.

Email or snailmail? Finding a handwritten letter in my mailbox thrills me. I still love to send handwritten notes.

Online shopping or Black Friday deals? There’s nothing in the stores worth fighting my way through Black Friday crowds.

Books or movies? Both.

Note-taker or memorization? Oh, that my memory was what it used to be. So many facts were required to write this series that I had to become a very organized note-taker.

               

Yes, I’m asking you to play favorites…which of your books is your favorite, published or unpublished? And if this is your debut novel, has your favorite been published yet?

Well, when I finished the first book in the series, HEALER OF CARTHAGE, it was my favorite. Now that book #2 is coming out, RETURN TO EXILE, it is my favorite.

Places for readers to learn more about you?

I love connecting with readers. They can find me on:

Goodreads https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4987522.Lynne_Gentry

Twitter: @Lynne_Gentry  https://twitter.com/Lynne_Gentry

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Lynne-Gentry/215337565176144

and my website: www.lynnegentry.com

Thank you for being with us today!

Thanks for having me, Casey. Always enjoy chatting with you and your readers.

Readers, enter to win Lynne's book here! 

Please leave an email address! If I draw your name and there is no email, you will not win.

For extra entries:

~Be a follower

~Be a subscriber

Contest is only open in the U.S. and void where prohibited. Chances of winning are based on the number of entries and winner is draw from a non-biased third party- Random.org. I am not responsible for any lost or damaged items for said prize.

Thanks for coming by to enter! Contest ends on January 16th

Attn Readers! If you're struggling to leave a comment on my blog, please email your comment entries (in ONE email) and I will submit it for you. But PLEASE only do this after you've failed to leave a comment. My email is: caseym.writer(@)gmail.com