I think a few of you who patronize my blog are writers and some are members of ACFW right? This week is their annual conference. Hundreds of people attend, this is no small affair. Is home to two of the largest and more prestigious writing contests for unpubbed and pubbed authors and is filled to the gunnel's with authors, editors, agents and other newbies trying to find their way.
Need I say how bad I want to go??
Anxious. Determined. Pining. Gulp. Might I say a tad jealous? Do those even begin to describe me? Yeah, I am ashamed to admit they do.
I keep telling myself, "In God's timing." All will be well and good and I will get there in God's timing. There is obviously some reason for me not to attend this year, maybe not even next and it kills me to want to wait one more day, let alone another year.
I can berate myself up and down all day long that "there is obviously a reason to my not going. God knows best." And I will be the FIRST to say that He does. But that doesn't always help me in the here and now.
It's not easy to wait. Why can't waiting for God's timing be easy and emotion free?
Because then we, I, wouldn't grow.
And as hard as the next few days are or have been, I have to admit that God wouldn't be "doing" this to me if I didn't need to learn and grow from it.
I won't pretend it's easy. I won't pretend that I am fine. But I do know this: if I take my own path instead of the one God has laid out for me, I would miss some major blessings He has in store for me. And I would cheat myself of growing deeper in Him.
Besides it isn't just a want to go to the ACFW conference, I have a fear of attending too. Maybe this industry isn't for me. Maybe I really don't have what it takes.
I can grow SO much stronger between now and whatever conference year I attend. But wallowing in self pity won't get me there any faster. It just makes me weaker.
Are you suffering from conference woes? I still think we need to form some kind of group. "Conference Anonymous" or something like that. ;-)
And hey, be sure and check out this link tonight at 7:30 EDT. The ACFW Awards Banquet will be blogging live, so don't miss it!
Love the post. So lovely.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Bleah
Glad you liked it Briann. :) Thanks for stopping by today.
ReplyDeleteI hope you get to go soon! I wouldn't worry too much if you do get to go because at least you'll be surrounded by some great folks. Nearly every single one of my favorite authors are there right now and I've "met" them all through blogging and they seem very nice and helpful so I couldn't imagine them being anything other than that in person.
ReplyDeleteXOXO~ Renee
I so agree with Renee, Casey! And I for one hope I get a chance to read your work someday :). Hey, I figure if God has me on the sidelines at least I can try to "cheerlead" right? Something that you do great at, BTW.
ReplyDelete@Renee, I know they are almost all there!! That is the thing I am looking forward to the MOST, because anyone who is that genuine on the computer has to be WONDERFUL in person!
ReplyDelete@Julia, you mean so much to me and I am so thankful I have "met" you. I do want you to read my work, very, very soon. ;) Hey I think you and I need to work on getting to ACFW together. :D
Oh, I know exactly how you feel. I suffered from a bit of ACFW conference envy this weekend too. But it's not my time yet. One day.
ReplyDeleteI understand the feeling of being scared too. I went to a smaller local conference this year and I was a nervous wreck. I wasn't even myself. If I was like that for a small one, I can't even imagine the bundle of nerves I'd be at ACFW. LOL.
Casey, Same to you and I would love to meet you at ACFW :).
ReplyDeleteBTW, I did notice though that there were several big name authors that weren't there and were watching via the blog: Tamera Alexander, Tricia Goyer, etc. It does "feel" like everyone's there, though.
@Joy, I didn't know you write! I am always amazed at the great bloggers out there that are writers. I am starting to think that if you are an avid reader, the lurking desire to write is probably there. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. It isn't my time either, but the waiting for that moment is hard. Though turning it over to God has done wonders. I need to grow and live a bit more. Keep studying and working harder to be a better writer, so I truly appreciate the conference.
@Julia, I noticed that too! Quite a few "big name" authors were watching in. Which made it fun to know we were all watching the exact same thing.
Be watching out, Julia. If we make it to the conference in the same year, the squealing blondy hurtling toward you will be me. ;)
Yup. I write inspy romance. What do you write?
ReplyDeleteAt the moment I am writing Women's fiction with a romance thread. I think that might be my genre... ;)
ReplyDeleteGirl finish that book so we can read it!!!!!!!!!!!! ;-)
ReplyDeleteXOXO~ Renee