Friday, April 27, 2012

Dancing, Dating and Waiting Part 2

Read part 1 here.

Two things I've never done before: I've never stayed out until 2 in the morning.

And I've never had a guy ask for my number.

Push them eyeballs back into their sockets! That is just plain unseemly. I might be young and live in the boonies,I just live in a bubble. Or so said guy told me. What's your point?

Photo Credit Microsoft Office
And no, I can't even pretend to dance like her... ;-)
Several weeks ago, I attended a barn/country dance with a couple other gals and stayed out until two in the morning. ((I like to say that just for the shock factor. ;-)) In between having all the guys begging (snort) me to dance, I took the 30% of my insecure self to the edge of the gym and enjoyed watching the much better dancers cut up the floor.

You have to understand my community. While I live in "town" there are scattered clusters of people all over our county. So while I live an hour away, most of these people don't know me. And I don't know them, except by either family name or reputation. ;-)

It's a comfortable setting. People laughing, dancing and having a good time. (some have too good of a time...) and visiting with people I'd never met before. So when I ended up next to a young man, only the two of us on the bleachers while our visiting companions jumped up to dance, we chatted. Asked each other what we did.

Then (name omitted to protect the innocent) who has the total Tall, Dark and Handsome thing going, leans in just a bit and asks after I made mention about the lateness of the hour..."So, what do you like to do?"

"Um...write?" 

We were talking about social events, and thank goodness he thought it actually neat that I like to write, but really, this has been the only event I've ever attended without my family and stayed out so late. That 2 a.m. thing again.

"You really grew up in a bubble didn't you?"

"I was homeschooled." (And very proud of it, I take no apologies there. ;-)

Conversation ebbed and flowed, laughed and danced the last to final song. As we headed back to the bleachers and settled in, he leans in (really he had to, the music was loud) and asked, "So what would a guy need to do to get your number to maybe read some of your writing?"

Pause.

Um...


What?

I've given my number away one time before; yeah it wasn't so great to try to evangelize to someone when they just want to call for other reasons. Not a good equation.

So when he asked, it was like I got flashbacks. I might come on too strong. I might sound like the typical "girl-wants-to-get-rich-quick" scheme, but really what I want is the man who desires my heart second only after God. So I took a deep breath, smiled and said...

"You know, if you really want to get in touch with me, you're going to have to call my dad first."

"Okay." His phone is still open.

"It won't be easy."

Be afraid, be v.e.r.y. afraid.

Phone still open, finger still poised, but a bit of the edge gone.

"You can call him at his work and talk to him if you want, but he's my gatekeeper and that's how I like it."

I couldn't tell if he swallowed hard or not. But still I passed on the numbers. Told him to ask for David.

"I guess if I'm serious, I'll call."

"Yep, that's right."

Did you just hear that loud exhale? Yeah, that was me, moving the ocean. Do I want him to call? Yes. Absolutely! There was something about him I liked. Kind, proper, but a whole lot of other things the Lord would have to work on. 

Does my heart struggle to turn that dream loose of someone actually being interested enough to call? Baby, does it ever! Have I had to let it go? Every. Single. Day.

Like pulling teeth from the bottom of my feet, but you know what I realized recently after being slapped with this experience? I don't want someone not serious. Should I apologize for laying all my cards on the table? For being upfront and honest, making him call Daddy before he can talk to me? No. I won't apologize. I learned about what I do and don't want to say next time, but I won't apologize. 

My future husband, future courtships, etc, must be serious. Because I am. I don't take this lightly. I don't date for the "joy" or "fun" of it. 

That doesn't mean my heart doesn't want him to call. That I wouldn't like to get to know him better. Quite the opposite, but no matter how many times the beat of my heart jacks up, waiting for that call that probably will never come, I realize one more time I'm willing to wait.

Because I'm not willing to settle.

Don't. Settle.

It's a costly choice.

52 comments:

  1. Bravo! I've never had any guy interested, but that could be due to the fact I push every guy away prematurely....>.>

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know what you're saying, Ashley. I tend to do the same thing. It's being willing to dance JUST for the fun of it and leaving all other preconceived notions to the side, without sacrificing morals.

      Delete
  2. OMIGOSH, CASE ... this SO reminds me of my character, Cassie McClare, when she lays out the "courting rules" for Jamie MacKenna -- gave me goose bumps!!!

    You are SUCH a catch, my friend, a pint of guaranteed happiness for any lucky guy, but only ONE will be given the key to your heart by BOTH of your daddies ... :)

    LOVED reading about your adventure ... now where are the pix of you line dancing????

    Hugs,
    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! Yeah, just a bit doesn't it? ;-) Thank you, thank you, I want to make my Daddies proud--they both mean so much to me!

      No, thank you goodness, I don't have any pics. I can't DANCE let alone line dance. ;)

      Delete
  3. Wait!!!!!!

    It has been over a week and you didn't say.....

    DID HE EVER CALL YOUR DAD????????????

    Seriously, girl, you cannot leave us hanging.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No. He hasn't. I honestly don't think he will. But I'm okay with that. :)

      Delete
    2. Well, then he is definitely not the catch God has for you. :) You are so wise!

      Delete
    3. Took me a LONG time to get to the "it's okay" part of this post. But it really is now. I'm trusting. I'm willing. I've got HOPE. I did NOT realize how badly I needed it. God's timing is AWESOME! It overwhelms me.

      Delete
  4. Love this. The man who does call = a man worth his weight in gold :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh Casey!!! I love love love this!! My husband had to ask my Dad before I could go out with him! So I can tell you that if the guy is serious, he WILL respect that and call. And not just THIS guy, ANY guy that is worth anything will show respect for you and your father by following these guidelines. Of course it's flattering to be asked, but girl you definitely have your head on straight for letting your dad be your "gatekeeper" Besides your Heavenly Father there isn't any man on earth that is going to love you more than your daddy, he has your best interest at heart. He will weed out the chaff. Casey, whomever the Lord has for your future husband I'll tell you what...he's getting one precious gal!

    Julie@My Favorite Pastime

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes! You hit the nail on the head. You know, I did think for a split second that maybe I would just give the number and think about it when he called, but then I thought, why? Why do that? It'll just be harder later and he might as well where I stand right now. I'd rather be brave now, then show a weak personality in that moment.

      Delete
  6. CASEY! Wow, your post read like a book, my friend! At almost 26yo I'm pretty sure I'm older than you, so if it makes you feel better, you've had more experience than me, lol ;) I've never stayed out till 2am and I've never had a guy ask me for my number! Guess I'm a bubble dweller, too ;) Nothing wrong with that, there are too many young people living wild and free - the only freedom I want to live in is my freedom in Christ :) And I was homeschooled (for high school) and it was the best!

    "Tall, dark and handsome" huh? That must be nice... I only seem to attract blondes. Nothing wrong with that of course, wouldn't mind a Mitch Dennehy look-alike! ;) Guess it's an opposites thing... but I guess I always pictured myself with a Collin... ;)

    And I love that you told him to call your dad! "Gatekeeper" - love it! Thank you for sharing your sweet story! Your convictions are an encouragement to me as I'm sure they are to others. I pray that if the Lord wants this man in your life He will make it happen in His perfect time and way. May He give you peace about it and always guide the steps of your heart.

    Thanks again for sharing! Girl, whoever gets you will be blessed indeed :)

    Blessings,
    Amanda

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't say WHO I attract, I've never attracted someone before. But hey, I'd go for a Collin type too!

      I wish I could sit down in a coffee shop...or better a book store and just visit with you for hours. I think we'd never run out of something to say. :-))

      Delete
    2. Aww, Casey, I would love to visit with you, too, my friend! And, YES, I'm sure the place would close before we ran out of things to say, lol! Lord willing it will happen someday :D

      Praying you have a beautiful weekend in Jesus!
      Amanda

      Delete
  7. I agree with Julie any guy who worth anything or who truly wants to court or date you will respect your wishes and those of your father and call your father first to ask permission. I've learned that if a guy doesn't respect my earthly father or more importantly my Heavenly Father then he's not worth it.

    Like you I want the one God has for me in His timing. I want a guy who loves God more than me. At almost 25 I know that even through I am still waiting it is going to be worth it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which I would only want someone serious enough TO call, why go through the heartache of a relationship that is dead before it starts in starting something with someone who won't be a good match? It's that important to me.

      And won't it be an incredible example for Christ when we can share what He has done for us??

      Delete
  8. I enjoyed your post Casey....yesterday, I was talking to a young lady about waiting, I have been mentoring and discipling her for the past year. As I told her, the Lord has the very best young man in mind for you and you never want to "settle" for second best. Casey, you are so very blessed to have a daddy who cares enough....Uncle Craig had to do the same thing to date me...Papa wasn't too tough on him and 33 years later....I think Papa knew what was best for me too. God Bless you and don't ever "settle" for anythinig less than the Lord's best.....
    Love, Aunt Gail

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, my Aunt Gail commented!!!! See blogging isn't so hard. ;-))

      I love that Papa looked after you. I could see him in his quietness doing that.

      Delete
  9. You are WORTH the wait...and so is real love. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  10. You go, girl! So proud of you. As someone who married the man of her dreams, someone who loves her only second to his love for his Savior, someone who is a wonderful husband and father, I encourage you...Don't Settle!

    Pray for the man you will someday marry, that God is preparing him as well as He is preparing you for a life together.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I loved what you shared here, Erica. It's so much of what I'm praying for. And one thing I also pray for? That he'll be praying for me. I hope he is.

      Delete
  11. Casey, this so far surpassed the expectations that your tweet about it conjured up. :) I read part one and was nodding along with you. I've never been to a dance, but at weddings and such, oh, that 30% is so strong!

    Part 2 didn't disappoint, either. I loved how willing you are to put your heart on the page. Mine beat quickly as I read...I've never been asked before, either, but if I were, that'd be the answer I give! And I loved reading about your answer...and your conviction. Loverly. Just loverly.

    Thank you for this encouragement today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind and so sweet comment, Rachelle! I have to say that in being willing to put my experiences on the page, I learn and grow through them...and the comments!

      I love chatting with so many like minded daughters of the King!

      Delete
  12. Good for you, Casey! You have to TEACH people how to treat you, and by doing so, you keep your self-respect a high priority.

    My husband does not share my faith and it has made marriage a lot harder than it should be. So I wish you every blessing in finding the man of your dreams!

    In the meantime, you have a little bit of research for future romantic writings! Not such a bad thing!

    Cheers,
    Sue

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it would be so hard to have a spouse that doesn't share your faith. I know have another friend with the same struggles. But I admire your hearts, that you step back and let God's amazing love shine through your hearts.

      Yep. That's the writer in me. I was thinking that in the back of my mind the whole time. ;-)

      Delete
  13. You are a wise young woman, Casey! And you're worth waiting for. I love that you're not willing to settle. Any guy who wants to date you needs to know how important your faith and your family are to you. If he balks from the get go, that's a good sign he needs to get up and go.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely! I would miserable with anything else. My dad really called it once, he told me I need a strong man. And he's right. Even with my strong personality, there is no way I could be in a weak relationship. I need a man who can stand as the head of my household and spiritual leader of my home. I'm willing to wait. :)

      Delete
  14. All I can say is "you go girl!" Thanks for sharing your story and your heart. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! This was such a fun couple of posts to write. I've been excited to share them.

      Delete
  15. Great story, even if he didn't call your dad. It's great that you were brave enough to make it clear what your standards and rules are :)

    There are some real great guys out there looking for a gal like you! It will happen in God's time :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are SO sweet, Faye! The same goes for you, girl. :-))

      Delete
  16. Casey, wow!
    I agree with all the other comments and I also thought your post read like a book. So glad to know you're also a bubble dweller like myself (Amanda's term and I really liked it *smile*).

    God has placed you precisely where you are in life and He's preparing you as you wait. I recently accepted being a bubble dweller because the world, the church, and society has an opinion about everyone, but it's up to us to rejoice in the protectiveness God has us in and enjoy it (I'm always with my parents and haven't dated since my ex which was 6 years ago). I have finally learned to enjoy being in this bubble and to embrace it because I trust God with where my destiny is going :)

    I love that you were honest, straightforward, and even shared about your writing. You were brave in your honesty and I am so proud of you *cheering for you* MORE importantly, all of God's heavenly beings were standing by you even in your awkwardness and THEY were cheering for you as you made your intentions clear and honorable. Jesus was smiling on you in that moment saying "this is my beautiful princess and I'm so pleased with her!!!"

    You have deeply inspired me in this post, but most of all I'm so happy you had fun and I think that's cool you stayed out so late :) One question for you: what did you dad say to this or is this a standing agreement the two of you have? Your gatekeeper, i like that!!! I'm so deeply touched that you trust your earthly father and heavenly father to the extent you do and I thank you for sharing this with us. And yes, don't ever settle in ANY area of life when God has only the best for you.
    Hugs to you Casey :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kara, your comment completely and wonderfully blessed my heart! You are SUCH a gift, you know that?? It can take forever (or seem so) to get to the point where we like the bubble, isn't it? I know for me personally, I've had to lay my "weapons" at Christ's feat time and time again to go back to my bubble, because I keep wanting to stray from it. I think I'm finally settling in and hanging a few drapes. :-))

      He laughed! My daddy was pretty proud I think. I loved what I said, loved that I called him my gatekeeper. This is the first time this has come up, so I haven't had experience before. I told him in warning in case he did call. My parents are my protectors. I'm thankful. :)

      Delete
  17. Awesome, Casey:) The man for you is the one who has the integrity to follow through and call ~ first your dad and then you! Love, love, love. So, so glad to see someone standing up for what God intended for men and women. There's nothing like the passion of a godly romance:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It means a lot to me that I don't have to "choose" or make these kind of decisions on my own. Of course I have the wisdom of my Heavenly Father, but to know my earthly father wants my very best interest too, takes a huge weight off my shoulders. Someone can be strong with me. And I love your last line...Amen!!

      Delete
  18. I think I may have mentioned it before after one of your blogs: I am impressed at the wisdom you have even though you are still quite young!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, thank you Pam! I can't take credit for it though, because over the years I have prayed for God's wisdom and He continues to supply.

      Delete
  19. This is a FABULOUS rule, Casey! And I'm sure your dad appreciates how careful you're being as well!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He does! And I do too. It makes the WORLD of difference to have someone coming along side you and supporting a decision like this.

      Delete
  20. You are a special Christian girl for how you were able to handle that situation, and I admire you for that. That saying, "love waits. Lust can't." comes to my mind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Excellent quote and very true. I want no part of lust. Why feel dirty when you can feel God's amazing blessing and love?

      Delete
  21. Hi Casey,
    Wow! I'm so glad you had the courage to get your family involved. I'm 30 and I've never had anyone interested (well, except for one boy when I was 17 but he wasn't a Christian).
    If/when it does happen, I won't be able to ask him to call my Dad, because he passed away last year. I'm still working out with Mum how we want to handle it.
    Meanwhile, I just keep serving God where I know He wants me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Serving God is exactly what this world needs, so we should never be ashamed of that stand! His ways are higher than our ways. He knows our dreams, our desires and He's looking out for us.

      Delete
  22. Casey, I must say you are an amazing young woman! I can only wish that I had had an earthly father that was that concerned about me. Of course, I didn't know my heavenly Father then, either, so I think you are absolutely AWESOME!!! You stay the course and God will definitely reward you for that. Don't lose hope on your Mr Tall, dark & handsome. Maybe he is praying about it. You know, I have a tall, redheaded & handsome son ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! Were you reading Tamera Alexander's blog post yesterday, Anne? ;-)

      I'm counting on staying this course and trusting God for future steps. Because I can't worry anymore on my own. It's not worth it.

      Delete
    2. I have not read her blog post but must check it out :) And trusting God is the ONLY way to go! Your prize man in the end will be perfect and only for you!

      Delete
  23. Thanks so much for this post Casey! I needed a little encouragement in this area... and I love to hear about other young ladies who are waiting! :)
    God bless....

    ReplyDelete
  24. I'm catching up on my blog reading and so just read your part 2. Loved it! I'm right there next to you in a bubble. Everyone lives in some sort of bubble actually - they just have different tints and sizes.

    Way to go in giving your dad's number. Last year (first time) a guy expressed interest in me. We did go on a group picnic date, but I told him I'd rather get to know him a bit more before doing any sort of dating.

    He backed off and it was a while before we talked again. (He works at a place I volunteer.) I was happy though that he didn't renew his interest, he's a good guy and will make someone very happy, but not me. But his mission/passion in life is different than mine. Plus he's shorter than me. (I know, great reason! :-)

    So just keep waiting and living and meeting people and making friends. God's plans can be very different from our plans.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Awwww, this blog post had more romance than the novels I like reading! You'll have to incorporate it into a story one day.

    I can't wait for you to write about the guy that is interested enough. That post *will* come and probably sooner than you think.

    hugs!

    Joy

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for stopping by, I love to hear from those who traffic my blog! Have a wonderful day. :)

FTC Rules

According to new FTC rules I must let you, the reader know, that all views shared on this blog are strictly my own. Books to review are either provided for me by the author, publisher or ones I have purchased and I am under no obligation whatsoever to present anything, but my true opinion on any product. I receive no monetary compensation for anything written on this blog. Any giveaways on this blog are provided by the author/ publisher and I am not responsible for any views they express in their work or on this site. Giveaways are void were prohibited and chances of winnng are based on the number of applicants. A random winner is draw when a book is given away.

 
Blog Design by Imagination Designs all images from the Country Wildflowers kit by Laurie Ann