I don’t know about you, but there are sometimes I just get tired. Tired of people. Tired of the day life. Tired of being patient. Tired of being pushed aside. Put on hold. Overworked and under-appreciated.
Wow! I promise I’m not like this all the time. Only once in a while. ;-)
But it’s true right? We all go through periods of time when we just throw up our hands and go, “really?”
And I get tired of “enough”. I would like to move to a new place. Find a new job. Let’s just be 100% honest here: find a man.
Recently I was lying in bed, watching digit after digit tick off the minutes I should be sleeping (after all 5:45 in the morning comes way too early) and trying to sort through my list of emotions.
My dialogue with God kind of went like this: “God, why am I here? What are You wanting me to learn right now? Can I be patient enough? Can I invest myself in something I might never see a physical return on—especially when I’m physically in a place I don’t care to stay?” Those questions apply to so much in my life right now. Could I trade where I’m at right now?
Sure I could.
Probably would in an instant if such switch-a-roo were even feasible, but since it’s not and I’m here for the time being, I had to pray one verse: “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans for good and not for harm. Plans to give you a hope and a future” (Casey paraphrase).
Coming off a difficult seven days last week it can be hard to see the lights at the end of the tunnel for the darkness. It can be hard to accept that not everyone sees in the same shade of colors.
And sometimes enough it just enough.
But that’s not where the story ends. It’s only the end if that’s what you decide. But God has bigger plans.
Better plans. And we all have a future. A glorious future. Where we have the life we need. It might not be the life we want, but I would just bet that once we get there, perfect man or not, the right job or not, different place to live or not, we’ll see it was all worth it.
Until then, I’ll keep writing these posts to remind myself of that. ;-)