Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Becoming a Proverbs 31 Wife

*You can read last week's post here*

She selcts wool and flax, and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark: she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.

This is probably one of my more favorites sections of Proverbs 31, probably because I like to knit, I like to feel the wool slide through my fingers and know that someone in my family will enjoy this item. I love to cook and to know that the people are well fed and enjoy what I have created. This is section of this chapter that speaks most to me, I think, because I am pretty down to earth, I like to work with my hands and provide for those I love with things that will sustain them, keep them warm and know they are loved.

The mother/wife role is a nurturing one. When the child has a scraped knee, when a hug is soothing, when a hard day needs to be vented, our moms seem to be the ones we go to. I think of my mom in this role. I can't tell you how many times I have come to her to vent. Sometimes those words need to leave our chest with no fear that in the end they will ever leave the confines of those listening. Sometimes it just takes talking it aloud that brings it into perspective.

She has the entire care of her household in her hands and I think that on a great deal of levels is overwhelmning to women. I don't know how to knit! I hate cooking! What I am to do? My mom hates to cook too, my dad loves it. Doesn't mean their roles are reversed in this case, it just means one compensates for the other's weaknesses. What a good marriage is about.

So when you have areas in your life where you aren't good at something, what compensates for that? My mom loves doing the laundry, we have never been without clean clothes and our home is tidy.

The wife is the nurturer, the one who takes the physical needs her husband has provided and turns them into a home that is welcoming to return to. To a place where all the hurts are loved away, the hugs freely shared and the joy of life is explored. So while a wife probably has the hardest job created, she has the most fulfilling one.


  1. Casey,

    Have you ever read Carolyn McCulley's Radical Womanhood blog. I think you might enjoy it.

  2. I hadn't Julia, thank you for that reference!

  3. Casey, thanks for a great post. I've been married 11 years and just about six months ago figured out that my husband enjoys the past when he cooked I felt guilty for not doing "my job". But, now I don't. I let him enjoy it and I enjoy the products. I think I opened my eyes to see how cooking relaxed him, where it stresses me out. So, we've scheduled in for him to cook at least 2-3 nights a week.

  4. Excellent thoughts! I shared this with a friend of mine. We had gone to a women's retreat at our church and were both a bit dissatisfied with the presentation of a wife's roll in the marriage. We both liked what you said about compensating for the other's weaknesses(whether husband's or wife's) and my favorite was the last paragraph. Very good insight and thanks so much for sharing!

  5. @Madonna, what a great way to compromise. I'm glad you liked the post and I definitely think that this is what a good marriage is about, complementing the other's strengths and weaknesses.

    @Julie, thank you for stopping by and sharing the post too! It is most certianly one of my hightest goals in life and I'm pleased to meet other women such as yourself who hold to the same standards. :)

  6. Years ago, I did not embrace my role as a wife as much as I do now. I like to call it my "what about me?" mode (have you ever seen Joyce Meyer do her "what about me" robot?). I used to feel like I was doing all the work, while everyone else got to have fun. I felt a lot of resentment.

    When I became a Christian in 2006, everything changed for me. Slowly, over time, my thinking began to shift. I learned what it truly means to serve others, including me husband. If I strive to be like Christ, than esteeming others higher than myself must be a priority. When I learned to embrace that, and not fight against it, something amazing happened -- the amount of joy that comes from doing things God's way is indescribable!

    My husband works incredibly hard to provide for his family, and it is brings me the greatest joy to serve him. To treat him with respect, to create a welcoming home, and to basically take care of him the way he takes care of me. Like you said, Casey, it is a fulfilling job.

    Of course, there's the mother role, but I won't get into that. LOL! I think I've already hogged up enough space here. ;-)

    Becoming the woman that God wants me to be has been the most incredible thing that has ever happened in my life. Surrendering to Him has been life changing; I only wish I could have done it sooner.


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