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| Laura and Randy on their wedding day |
I was intrigued
when Casey asked me to be a part of her June blog series – or her “not settling
for less” posts. But I must confess my attempts at real-life romance story
aren’t so novel worthy. You see, once upon a time, I almost compromised for
keeps, sure my Prince would come at a certain time and look and act and talk a
certain way and sweep me off my rather large size 9-1/2 feetJ. When that didn’t happen, I flat despaired.
But let’s backtrack a bit…
During high
school I had two dates – both with friends. In college I had one date – with
another friend. At 21, I’d never been kissed. I read romance novels voraciously
as if to make up for the black hole that was my love life. I even wrote them,
full of the angst and longing that I felt over not yet having met “the one.” Purity
wasn’t a big issue back then. Passion was in. I made a list of qualities that
my real-life hero needed to have. I prayed over the list and it grew longer. He
had to be tall, dark, and handsome. Smart. Funny. Godly. Sadly, godly was at
the bottom. The church guys I knew were so boring!
I wanted an
Ian/Captain Jack/Red Shirt/Colonel McLinn kind of man, the ones that existed in
my imagination. Not real life. I never bothered to ask the Lord what kind of
mate He wanted for me. I just kept showing him my list. And when my hero came
along I nearly missed him.
He was dark and
handsome but not tall. Smart but not super educated. He worked with his hands
while I worked with my head. He was – gasp!
– several years younger than I was. He wasn’t funny, just godly. He was super
serious and had loads of integrity. A bit boring, I thought. When he looked my
way, I wrote him off. And moved several hundred miles away J.
 |
| Laura and Randy ~ 2011 |
Soon after I
became involved with a guy who met almost every quality on my list. He was even
an Olympic-level skier who hung out with Olympic medalists. Only he wasn’t
godly. Over time, the closer we became, the less concerned I was with spiritual
things. My love for the Lord grew cold. I wondered why my life felt barren and
empty. I was over 30 and nothing was like I wanted it to be. So I ended the
relationship and asked the Lord to forgive me and show me a better way.
Soon after I made
the break something remarkable happened. A complete stranger approached me and
gave me a verse. It was Joel 2:25 which reads, “And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten…” Stunned,
I took the promise literally and was humbled that the Lord would not only
forgive me for taking a wrong turn but was willing to restore those lost years.
I knew He was fully capable of doing that. I just didn’t know how His promise
would play out.
Shortly after
that, a letter appeared in my mailbox. From the man I’d written off several
years before. We’d had no contact since then though I hadn’t forgotten him. And
apparently he’d not forgotten me! We met up at Thanksgiving to renew whatever
it was we’d bypassed years before. And then we married 10 months later. Now, 18
years later, he’s my hero – and a godly one. I sometimes wonder what might have
happened had I not ended that compromising relationship and come back to the
Lord – and Randy.
As Christian
women, we’re called to be the bride of Christ. He is our groom, the ultimate hero. One who is always
faithful, who never disappoints, who loves with an everlasting love. We can
trust our heavenly groom to lead us to our earthly groom, if that is His best
for us. In the meantime, our charge is to let Him to do that if He chooses ~
and to not interfere with His perfect plan by insisting on our own and settling
for far less than He had in mind.
Casey here again: All this month I have had a giveaway of Never the Bride by Rene Gutteridge and Cheryl Mckay and hopefully it will encourage you on your journey. Leave a comment on how YOU are NOT settling below and I'll draw the names from all the posts and announce the winners (one from every Settling post) the first Friday of July.
I scrolled down on Blogger and saw this! So glad Laura's path got redirected to her leading man, Randy! I had two fiances before I met my husband. To me he is an example of good comes to those who wait upon the Lord. The timing of our meeting was in God's hands. 25 years ago in November we married. Trust God and in His perfect timing He will bring things to fruition!
ReplyDeleteCarrie, Thanks so much for sharing a bit about your own story - it is truly miraculous that God brought you and DH together! Timing is truly everyting - God's timing and not ours. It's a lesson I'm still struggling to learn as God has revealed that I'm so often impatient!
DeleteI LOVE that promise in God's word too, Carrie. That good things DO come to those who wait upon the Lord. What a wonderful promise and truth!
DeleteGood morning ladies!!
ReplyDeleteLaura, I was (and always am!) blessed when you share, especially about your love story!! God has given me a great example of hope and waiting on Him to strive for in you and I thank you for being real with us, sharing your heart and directing us in the Word of God. You and Randy look SO CUTE together!!! Thanking the Lord that He brought you two together and gave you a beautiful love story of your own :)
Casey, thank you so much for having Laura here today!! What a wonderful surprise! Thank you for having this series (sorry I missed a couple of posts!) and for helping to encourage us on our path to waiting for His best and being a beautiful example of that yourself! :)
God bless you both abundantly and keep you always close to Him, receiving His very best in every area of you lives!! :)
Hugs,
Amanda
Amanda, I was so excited when I heard Casey was doing this series. I remember those days when I was in my 20's and romance seemed to be something I only read or wrote about! I'm so glad you're here and bless me in return with such gracious words, as always:) It's fun sharing a bit of my real life here. I sometimes wonder what direction my life would have taken if I'd stayed in that other relationship. I really don't believe I would be writing. And I think I would still be living in the desert, so to speak. A very frightening picture! Randy is my true hero - I dedicated my next book to him. I know Randy is God's best for me because our love for each other grows stronger and more passionate over time, 18 years now. And I pray that kind of love for you and others who wait on the Lord for His best for you.
DeleteAmanda, as soon as I read Laura's story I knew it was exactly the right one to end this series with. A fantastic cap and a wonderful reminder. God's best is completely worth waiting for!!
DeleteCasey, what a great series you have been running! I hope many women find the inspiration and encouragement they need to "not settle".
ReplyDeleteLaura, so wonderful to hear your story. Thank you for sharing. I had to cringe when you wrote that the church guys you knew were so boring. That was my exact same sentiment. I also had this long list of what I wanted in my man, and I hate to admit it, godliness was actually OFF my list. Well, I got my wish list. Every. Single. Item. And then a whole lot of stuff I didn't bargain for! But I'm so glad, Laura, you were able to walk away from that relationship, and give the reins back over to God. He has blessed you enormously!!
I'm determined never to settle again. And I feel called to write YA fiction because I have a desire to help girls commit to "not settling".
Helen, You said a beautiful thing - "give the reins back to over to God." That's been so hard for me as I'm a bit mulish oftentimes! Sometimes God wounds us to bless us as you've shared here from your own journey. I'm so thankful God specializes in second chances - and more!! I know He has a very special path for you to walk with healing and hope in every step. You have a very sure foundation for your call to write YA. Bless you for being here today!!
DeleteDoesn't it seem in our personal wish lists, God often says "okay, you can have all that, but do you realize what else will come with this package?" We say no, give it to us anyway and we often pay the consequences. Thanks so much for sharing today, Helen. Continue to write to glorify God!
DeleteI enjoyed hearing your story again. That's an awesome story about the verse. I love those kind of stories where God speaks a word into our lives in his unique ways!
ReplyDeleteJulia, I don't think I'll ever forget that moment when that verse passed from that sranger's hand to mine:) I'd not even read that particular Scripture before and so it had double the impact. Plus it was so humbling and moving to see that God cared enough about me and the mess I'd made to redeem it. I was a very broken person back then and felt my life was over in some respects. But now I see He allowed me to be broken to get my attention. Those of you who are waiting or waited for God's timing get a double blessing - without the heartache!
DeleteSome stories never get old, do they Julia? I love hearing how YOU and your hubby met. :)
DeleteOh, WOW!!! Laura, what a story ... full of the same drama and tension and romance and deep soulish feelings I've come to expect from your books. My heart rejoices with you that God led you back home to Him and to Randy because if He hadn't, I may have never met one of the dearest friends I have ever come to love ... and the world of Christian romance fiction would be a far emptier place.
ReplyDeleteCase ... WONDERFUL series, WONDERFUL blog today!!
Hugs,
Julie
Julie, So happy you're here, my precious friend! I do believe all of our past angst/heartache is never wasted but appears on the pages of our stories:) At least that's what I ask the Lord for when I go through bumpy places - to let it spill out on paper. We wouldn't have met if God hadn't intervened, I'm sure of that. And am thanking Him for my change of heart and direction! And for your friendship. You're always such a blessing to me. And I'm headed to Journal Jots very shortly;)!
DeleteOh I completely agree, Julie! Just like you and Keith. The stories of how God blesses His children are always so humbling and amazing! I NEVER tire of hearing about them--or sharing them!
DeleteHave been loving this series, Casey!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your story Laura. I love that verse given to you. So powerful and a testimony to the redemption we find in Christ. He makes all things new!
Katie, So good to see you here:) I don't think we've met formally but it's great to finally do it on Casey's blog! I know she is a huge fan of yours and your recent debut does look wonderful. I need to get out of my historical rut and read more contemp!
DeleteLove what you said about Christ making all things new - beautiful and true and ever possible! Bless you for your kindness.
Katie, it has given me so much more than I expected it to. I think I've been the one most blessed. Isn't that often how it works? :)
DeleteLaura, I'm going to put a plug in for Katie here! It took a little nerve to jump out of my historical novels to read Wildflowers from Winter, but I'm so happy I did!
DeleteOh I do love this story, Laura! It's beautiful and so encouraging!!!!! Ya'll are as cute as ever! :) Casey, I love that you're hosting these blogs. They're so important!
ReplyDeleteJessica! Oh, love the 'cute' part - thank you! As Randy and I get older, cute is good;) Casey does have a wonderful ministry here and everyone who comments takes part in that. I feel very blessed to see Christian women making a stand for Christ on the web. You really never know all the live you touch when you do that. Bless you for being here!
DeleteIt's my favorite part of the year, Jessica. Topics very near and dear to my heart. My the passion only spread from here!
DeleteWhat a fantastic post! (Love the pictures) Such a blessing when the Lord writes our love story.
ReplyDeleteColleen, Oh, so good to see you:) YES, when the Lord writes our love story it's always a blessing and brings honor to Him. Thanks for that beautiful reminder.
DeleteI LOVE that Colleen...what God writes our love story. I should have a sign made like that... :)
DeleteIts the title of a book by Eric & Leslie Ludy, too :)
DeleteI haven't read it, but I really like the Ludys work and they have a neat love story.
Casey, Thanks so much for having me here today. People are putting up Facebook links to this series of yours and that's so good to see that people are serious about not settling for less! It's an honor to be here and to see your heart for Him shining through:)
ReplyDeleteI'm SO glad I asked you! God definitely knew the write people to whisper into my ear and have write posts for this series. You are such a blessing and I hope I have the chance to see you in September!
DeleteLaura, I loved reading about your quest to find the right kind of love. That passage from Joel had a special meaning in my own journey.
ReplyDeleteJanet, Bless you for taking time here. I have a feeling this particular Scripture is an anchor for many people and a promise that carries them through very difficult times. I'm so glad it speaks to you, too:)
DeleteThank you so much for coming by Janet! Welcome to Writing for Christ. :)
DeleteCasey, it's so awesome to see Laura here! Laura, this is a beautiful love story, the one that only God can author. Congrats on 18 years of marriage, two beautiful boys and an amazing ministry with your words.
ReplyDeleteAs a teenager I was homeschooled and I had some specific areas in my life that I was not willing to compromise on. Purity, faith and integrity were at the top of the list. At the age of sixteen, when I found a man/boy who fit those character traits, I snagged him (it took me a year to convince him that I was the one for him, but what sixteen year old is ready for that kind of relationship?!?!). I'm so thankful that despite my high standards and (dare I say) prideful thoughts, God authored a love story between him and I that has now been going strong for fifteen years. My husband and I have had our ups and downs and, as we continue to seek God's best in our lives, we're learning humility, faith and hope.
Gabrielle, You always bless me:) Love your thoughts and to learn that you were homeschooled! Your decision to honor purity, faith, and integrity certainly kept you safe and had long term results - a beautiful family and more! And now a writing/blogging ministry, etc.
DeleteYou've said something so important - that even when we find our real-life hero, the ups and downs do come, but with the Lord at the center, nothing is too BIG to overcome. Love between a godly couple grows and gets sweeter with time as so many of us here can attest to (waving at Julie especially as she and K. have a longterm, passionate union)!
Love, too, what you've said about God authoring your love story. Wonderful words! He creates the best endings - and beginnings:)
Gabrielle, I can completely relate to everything you've written here. It seems as girls, we have such high standards (which is completely correct!!), but we try and fit any good looking boy into that high standard mold, but they might not be the right ones for US. Letting God hold the pen to our lives takes all stress away and gives us the freedom to love Him unconditionally. Thanks for coming by and sharing!
DeleteWhat a great post. Thanks for sharing your story, Laura and for posting Casey.
ReplyDeleteLisa, Thanks so much for taking time here:) It's a blessing to meet you this way! Casey is so good at bringing people together.
DeleteThanks so much for stopping by, Lisa! A pleasure to see you. :)
DeleteLoved your story, Laura!
ReplyDeleteLindsay, Bless you for saying so! It's always good to see you here or there or anywhere:) Hope your summer is going well!
DeleteSo did I, Lindsay! So did I. :)
DeleteI love hearing stories about how women have persevered through their wanderings to find the RIGHT MAN. It is so like my own. My husband is a few years younger than I am also and jokes that I was "on hold" while in a rather platonic three year relationship with a college friend that was going nowhere. It was like I just woke up one day and knew God had something better than "just friends" waiting for me. Months later I met my husband Jonathan. :D
ReplyDeleteDawn, Persevering is certainly the right word! I'm chuckling at your story of going nowhere - that's certainly an apt description of me at that time, too! Your hubby was very patient:) God does have so much more than 'just friends' and I'm so thankful you found that out! Bless you for blessing us with a glimpse of your own wandering and finding His best!
DeleteOh how awesome, Dawn! I always love the pictures you post of you and DH. You guys are such a cute couple!! :)
DeleteThanks Casey! I wouldn't be able to write today if it wasn't for his 100% belief in me. I adore combining the love of God and the love of a good man in my stories. ;) It's easy to conjur up for my heroines with such an example from my own DH. :D
DeleteLaura, thanks for blessing us with your story! :)
Having a supportive spouse/family is EVERYTHING. Makes me smile on your behalf. :)
DeleteWow! That was a powerful story, and such a beautiful way to show God redeeming the years.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Casey, for being an instrument for God's love to shine through. These posts have been wonderful!
I have to say that I didn't settle. I gave up going to college so that I could go to a little Bible school 5 hours away to find a godly husband. God was gracious. I was there two weeks and my future husband gave me a dozen roses for my 18th birthday. We were married a year and four months later!
Sherrinda, So happy you're here:) Love hearing how you meet your real-life hero! It sounds like you both knew early on it was meant to be. Your love story reminds me of my brother who's now a missionary in Spain. He met his wife when she was a freshman and Bible college and they've been married 23 years now. A very good match!
DeleteRecently I heard Laura Story in concert and she said the funniest thing - that when single she went to a Fellowship of Christian Athletes meeting (nope, she wasn't even athletic!) because she wanted to date a Christian guy and it just wasn't happening elsewhere. I chuckled and think she was pretty wise to be so young. She met her future husband there:)
Bless you for being here today and sharing your heart:)
What a love story, Sherrinda! My dear you need to write this down in a novel. I absolutely love that. :)
DeleteLaura, I love what story from...(ha) Laura Story. Her music is so beautiful. What a treat to hear her in concert. :)
Laura - wonderful story about listening to God even when it seems like He's not listening to you....
ReplyDeleteI love the diversity of Scripture - that verse is one that the Lord gave my mom when she learned that my desperately struggling brother had purchased a house on Locust Lane. She's still praying (we all are) and living expectantly.
Becky - Awesome link between that verse and God's using it to speak to your mom about your brother! It's no accident he lives on Locust Lane:) God is endlessly creative that way. Love what you say about living expectantly. That is something I'm being taught - to embrace life and live expectantly, waiting for whatever it is God has for you with open arms. Praying your brother finds the truths you and your mom have.
DeleteSo good to meet you here! You have a beautiful blog:)
Living expectantly in Christ is so poetic and true. I love that. :)
DeleteI've loved reading all the stories of waiting on the right one. Mr. Right, not "Mr. Right Now".
ReplyDeleteI am 55, a single mom and really have no interest in looking for a man. I've been down that road before I got saved and found lots of "Mr. Wrongs". For now, I am content with my life as it is.
When folks ask me why I don't look for someone, I tell them I don't want a drinker, smoker, liar, cheater, a druggie, and he has to love the Lord. I've had the rest, now I'll wait on the best. :)
Thanks so much for sharing this! I think of Isaiah 54:5 that says 'For thy Maker is thine husband..." Waiting for God's best is always best and sometimes His best includes singleness! I'd much rather be happily single than unhappily married and have many friends who say the same (who are single at all ages and stages of life). Bless you!
Delete"Waiting for God's best is always best and sometimes His best includes singleness!"
DeleteLaura, I was basically thinking the same thing. ;) No point in saying anything else. You said it so perfectly.
Wow--my almost settling story is so similar! My first date was senior prom (my 6'4" dad was a math teacher and coach--he said boys were intimidated by me--hmmmm). I dated TOO much in college, proving to myself that boys DID like me. I got engaged to a sweet guy who treated me like gold, but had a tendency toward depression. We both needed God, but had no idea! I broke that relationship off and eventually married my love, my husband. We've now been married for more than 16 years, loving God first and then each other.
ReplyDeleteSarah, The similarities are really striking! Love learning more about you and your real-life hero and how you finally met him;) 16 years is truly an exquisite thing with God smack in the center. That's the key always, putting God first - first before our desires and will and wishes, etc. And keeping Him there. Thanks so much for taking time here!!
DeleteSarah, I'm so glad you waited for God's best in your marriage. What a blessing you've been able to share with your husband and those around you. I'm sure it glows of God's goodness in His perfect plans. :)
DeleteLaura, I believe this is the first time I've read your full story. I have to say it is just beautiful. I have to say, real-life stories are often so much better than fiction.
ReplyDeleteOh I do believe they are!
DeleteMichelle, So glad you're here:) I don't often talk about that chapter of my life but guess I was saving it for Casey's post;) Truly, real life is stranger than fiction and often far more romantic. The only drawback is that I was such an old bride at age 33 that I've told Randy we'll never see our 50th;) Bless you for your comments.
DeleteBeautiful story, Laura. Thanks for sharing. I love hearing other people's love stories.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for stopping by, Sue. Always so good to see you. :)
DeleteSusan, Always a joy seeing you:) I'm so glad you know Casey. Like you, I never get tired of hearing other people's love stories. Must be the romantic in us.
DeleteCasey, My daughter is not settling. Want to win the book for her! Thanks. Kathleen
ReplyDeletelanehillhouse[at]centurylink[dot]net
So good for her! This book would be perfect for her. :)
DeleteI never tire of hearing Laura's and Randy's romance story. The hand of God is so clear in it. Love it! Thanks for sharing Laura and Casey.
ReplyDeleteCan anyone tire of hearing a true love story? I think they are so completely perfect. Better than anything fiction can write. :)
DeleteLori, Thanks so much for reading. I think the Lord had to use drastic measures with me as I was such a mess! His hand really was evident. Bless you for your kind words:)
DeleteWhat a nice surprise to see you here, Laura! It's always such a blessing getting to know you better. Thank you for sharing -- what a beautiful love story, and encouragement.
ReplyDeleteI pray that you'll have a blessed weekend, Laura and Casey -- two of the greatest gals I've had the pleasure to meet online. : )
Love & Blessings,
Michelle
I sure do appreciate you, Michelle! And watching you love on your family, they are so blessed to have you. I hope they make sure you know that too. :)
DeleteI agree with Casey, Michelle - you are such a gift to your family! I'm wishing you were in my family:) And in my kitchen! Bless you for being so encouraging:)
DeleteGreat post! This is the first time I've heard Laura's story - thanks for sharing. :)
ReplyDeletefrequentreader19 (at) gmail (dot) com
It's a treasure!
DeleteMelanie, Bless you and thanks for your comments. They mean so much!
DeleteLaura! What a wonderful story! It seriously warmed my heart and made me sing praises to God for how good He is! It is so nice to read other people's stories. I don't think I went on any dates in high school. But that was more to the fact that I was shy, plain, and weird than because I didn't want to! I went on one date when I was in college. That was my first real date and my last! I went through a period a few years ago when I was ready to settle with a really horrible guy, who claimed to be a Christian, but was a huge jerk. But I was so afraid that I was going to be single for the rest of my life and he was the last guy who would ever like me. He had some of things I really was looking for in a husband, so I continued to talk with him and agreed to enter into a relationship with him. After much prayer and talking with my family I decided I would rather be single than spend the rest of my life with him, and I broke it off. I know God has someone out there for me! And I am just being patient and trying to grow spiritually as I wait!
ReplyDeleteGod has someone who love and treasure you as you deserve, but will also perfectly complete you and you him. I loved what Ashley said last week during her post, that it wasn't so much love at first sight, as it was as though she were meeting her other half. Love that image!
DeleteEmma, Like you, I was just plain, shy, and weird and was even afraid of guys in high school and college! I'm so thankful you're letting the Lord author your romance and wisely stepped away from something you knew wasn't His best for you. Prayers with you!
DeleteLaura--- what a wonderful story! And I think it has loads of romance! It begins again with a letter...how lovely and poetic at last? And it probably spoke deeply to your writer's heart!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you found eachother again and have had such a happy life together. Its never too late for love!
Can't you just see Randy now, thinking about Laura and wondering if God would bring them back together? He did! In the most perfect of ways. :)
DeleteHeather, Bless you for reading and saying that about the letter! It really is very lovely and poetic to think that's what reached my writer's heart:) Interestingly, right about the time Casey asked me to help with this series, I was cleaning out a trunk in the attic and found that letter from Randy. It brought so many memories back:) I remember your romance story with W. That's pretty special, too:)
DeleteThanks for sharing your story Laura! Its a good reminder to me to continue trusting God to bring that one Man of Good Charachter into my life. =)
ReplyDeleteMandy, So happy to see you here:) Your comments make my Sunday! I'm glad/hope this shows how trusting God brings us joy and saves us from a world of heartache. A man of good character is so worth the wait. Bless you so much.
DeleteOh what a great post. Sounds so romantic and really good.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Jo
azladijo(at)aol(dot)com
Jo, I'm such a sucker for romance:) Bless you for being here today!
DeleteOh, I'm just now reading this beautiful post! Talk about a story! Thank you for sharing, Laura! I didn't have a boyfriend until after I had graduated high school, so I can completely relate. I'm so thankful that boy was the one I was meant to marry :) I love your love story and the fact that God led you back to the man He had planned for you. Kudos to your hubby for stepping out in faith and sending you that letter! This happy ending just makes me smile. Best wishes!
ReplyDeleteJoanne, You're such a gem:) I'd love to know more of your personal love story, too. Your husband sounds like quite a hero!
ReplyDelete