Friday, August 24, 2012

Making My List...And Checking It Twice.

I've got my list. Do you have yours?

I'm talking about the Prospective Husband List. The one we all keep tucked away in the back of our minds and whip out to compare our potential Prince Charming against our scribbled notes over the years. 

Peak at my list? Why not...

  • Quick to laugh 
  • Taller than me (won't be hard)
  • Athletic
  • Hard worker
  • Handsome (well, that's a given)
  • Coffee disliker
  • Book lover
  • Loves to smile
  • Serious
  • Funny
  • Cowboy
  • And then of course, should look good in a cowboy hat ;-) maybe that list isn't a serious list. ;-) Of course several of those things on the list are important to me. (I'll let you decide which ones, LOL!)

But if you were to ask me for my serious list? Well, it would probably look more like this...

  • God-seeker
  • Honest
  • Loving
  • Lover of life
  • Cherisher of dreams
  • Family man
  • Caring
  • Humble
  • Respecter of people
  • Protective
  • Warrior for Christ
  • Patient
As young women when we are making our "lists", we should not be swayed by world's or people's impressions of what we "need" or want. Our man should be held up to the Bible's mirror of what a godly man should be. And what does the Bible say...?

Husbands , love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself...For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh...However, each of you almost must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5: 25-29, 31, 33

When you read the section of Ephesians, you realize the great weight upon a husband's shoulders and our responsibility to honor him as the head of our households. So while we might have a "checklist" for our potential husbands, we as young women need to realize that more importantly, we should be realizing our husband's have a check list for us. 

Join me in praying we can worthy of their love just as much as we pray he will be worthy of our love.

Curious minds are wondering...what's three things on your check list?


  1. Good morning Casey!
    What a pleasant thing to see today.Your serious list is beauty.full. Seriously. I applaud you. And, well I don't blame you for adding the other one...*grin*
    By the way, I'm reading Praying right now and I'm liking it.

    My list actually includes most of the things you mentionned.
    - Lover of God.
    - Lover of family, friends.
    And this is very true : 'we should be realizing our husband's have a check list for us'

    1. I'm sure--I know there is more I would and will add to the "serious" list, but for right now, more than anything I want to grow ME and pray God will work on him. :)

  2. Your future husband will beat a true list out of the water. My husband and I fit like puzzle pieces and each year God shows us more of how it fits together. Because the Holy Spirit is working on us. Wow, I have learned so much about being a wife and I need to learn so much more, but His Spirit is so patient with us.

    1. Oh I have no doubt, I've got God in my corner. :D

  3. I threw away my list the day I got married.
    Two of my daughters are married now too -- and here's the funny thing: The men they married didn't exactly match up to their lists.
    Don't get me wrong: In all the important, matters of the heart, they did. But some of the "external" things that my daughters thought were so important?
    They were crossed off the list as they fell in love with the men God brought into their lives.
    Interesting ... and God-ordained.
    So, I'm all about lists.
    And I'm also all about shredding them.

    1. You know what I find interesting? When we become more worried and obsessed about the "outside" issues, the "inside" keeps taking a back seat. Reverse those two and the outside doesn't even seem important anymore. His heart is on his sleeve and his spirit right with God, his outside will be stunning.

  4. I like your list Casey! And I love the fact that you are preparing yourself for your future husband. I still remember when I was thinking about my future husband and the things that I would like him to be like. For some reason I always had it in my head that I would love a man that had served in the military. I would love a man that was older than me. And I wanted a man to be established enough in his career that he could take care of me! Then of course all of the spiritual things were a must also. He needed to have relationship with the Lord first and foremost. Our God is so amazing that He gave me all of those things in my husband of 27 years! He is a former Marine(whew doggie, those men are stubborn!), He is 8 years older than me, and he has always been able to provide for our family and take care of us. And first and foremost he loves the Lord! So continue to bring your future husband before the Lord Casey and someday He will bless you with the desires of your heart!

    1. I love that, Julie. Reminds me of similar stories I have heard. My dad made an interesting observation of me once: he told me I need a man who will lead me and my family. A man not afraid to take a stand, because while I might be stubborn and strong willed, I need a man to lead me. And you know, he was absolutely right. That more than anything trumps my list!

  5. I like both of your lists! :)

    When I made my 'Prospective Husband List' (about 25 years ago) It included

    1. Must love Jesus more than me.
    2. Must be older than me.
    3. Must be smarter than me.

    I got all three of these things and so much more. We've been married for almost 23 years, and I love him more every day.

    1. Older than me is an "important" one too! ;-)

  6. Aw, love your list, Case. I definitely had one. I made a list of things I refused to compromise on, and then things I'd like but didn't have to have. Funny husband fit almost all on BOTH lists. But I agree with Beth. Sometimes we get a vision of someone stuck in our minds and the one God has for us is so different from that. It's all about trusting Him and being flexible with those compromisable things.

    1. It's learning to be in tune with God too! To know (and bury) your heart so thoroughly and completely in His and my future husband will have to love God to find me. (love that quote from Max Lucado!)

  7. Casey, your list is an echo of my heart, my friend! Even the not-so-serious first list, lol! But if I had to add something I guess that would be:

    -Strong gift of discernment. Perhaps that falls under "warrior for Christ" as a good warrior can sense danger and would already have himself equipped for battle, ready to protect and defend his family from spiritual (as well as physical) evil. Basically a man that will stand as sentinel for his home.

    -Spiritual wisdom. I see this quality so much in my dad and brother. In conversations they add such quality sound advice and suggestions. It blesses me so much to see other men, even our pastor, seek out their opinions on a matter. And spiritual wisdom is a precursor to spiritual leadership, I think. Because I've seen this quality in them my heart longs to see it in my future husband.

    -Calm. He has to be calm because I'm NOT! Well, I can be calm and levelheaded for others, but I'm useless for myself. I know only Christ can give us peace in times of trouble and only Christ can deliver us from anxiety. But I want a husband who is sensitive to my need for comfort in these areas I struggle with and who loving allows (and desires!) Christ to work through his hands, words and actions to be a calming presence.

    Lol, sorry to give such long commentary here! But the list for a future husband is a pretty important list so I hope you can forgive me! ;) Thanks for posting this, Casey. May the Lord give you all the desires of your heart :)


    1. NEVER apologize for your comments, Amanda! Discernment, YES! I can't believe I didn't think of that one. And yet it seems there is so much to look for and I can imagine when the right ones comes along, it won't take much to discover God's best in his heart. Calm, yes, a good quality to have for sure. Comes with that wisdom and discernment I think. :)

  8. Good morning, Casey!

    Fun post. Except how can a person be a book lover and not a coffee lover????

    After being married for 24 years (I got married when I was 12) I think the thing that has been the most important trait in my husband is that he wears his "Jesus glasses" when he looks at me. In other words, he loves Christ first, then me. He sees Christ first, then me. He filters his love for me through his love for Christ. Does that make sense?


    1. LOL! I threw that one out there more for my sister than anything. I warned her we would probably end up with coffee drinkers for husbands if we weren't careful. ;-)

      And yes, it makes perfect sense!

  9. I've been married for 27 years. Several years ago I found a list I had written on a church bulletin. Most of the things on my list were found in the man I started dating a few years after the list was compiled. I prayed for and about this man for several years before we dated and married. I just didn't know who he was yet. :) Now I pray that my sons find the wives God has had in mind for them for helpmeets and wives.

    1. What a beautiful reminder, Susan! I love how God does that. :)

  10. First, an lol thing.... When you said 'Loving' for some reason, my mind told me it was 'living' and I went, "Uh...duh. Yeah, I think we'd all prefer...oh. LOVING". XD XD XD Blond moment...

    Outside of the spiritual things and good lookingness, three things on my 'list' are:

    *Book lover (It would be rather lonely for me if I didn't have anyone to hold book chats with, wouldn't it?).

    *Older then me. (This might sound odd, but I love how Mr. Darcy and Mr. Knightley were both 10ish years older. That is so romantic. Call me weird)

    *His profession requires a suit, or he enjoys wearing them. (Nothing appeals to me more then a vest, suit and coat. But, is there any such profession that requires such an outfit?)

    and, I'm going to be rebellious and add a fourth..

    *British/Irish/Scottish please. (This doesn't need an explanation, me thinks)

    1. Hahaha! Good list. ;-) Now what happens if he's a British/Irish/Scottish farmer? Sans the suit? ;-)

      Yep, I'll admit older than me is kind of request on this end too.

  11. Three things on my list.

    Loves Jesus more than me(if he put Christ first then everything else falls in to place.)
    open to adoption

    1. Oh, beautiful Carissa! Your last one blessed my heart, I'd love to do that someday too, Lord willing!

  12. I'm giggling at the coffee disliker. Love both lists and admire the though you've put into list number two. Smart girl. :)

  13. I love your lists, Casey, both of them. I pray that the man the Lord has for you is all those things and more. And I'd add one more thing. I think it would be great if he appreciates your sense of humor and can laugh with you when you do things like dance on chairs. =)


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