It was the word laid on my heart for 2014. The word I was going to center my year around. The word I was dedicating back to God and asking Him to make it clear in my life where this was supposed to take me—spiritually and possibly physically.
If “dream” was my goal for 2014, then I wasn’t going to just dream and toss them over my metaphorical shoulder without pursuing them in faith.
There was the dream of working in publishing. Moving to a different place and meeting different people. And God blessed that dream and breathed it into life directly before my eyes.
There is the dream of finding the right man God has for me and starting a family. There have certainly been enough of my friends setting me up in this new place, to make a single girl doubt the longevity of her singleness—but we’ll see.
Then there is the dream of having my name on the spine of a book. Of those pages being cracked open by readers and having them breathe in my words. The emotion of that moment when I open the box from the UPS man and there lies in my book. Real and in front of me—not just on the computer screen. A beautiful cover and my name in scrolling font across the bottom (or top) of the novel. A novel with my name on it.
So what do you do with a dream that you’re not actively pursuing? That you want, but don’t have the motivation to chase. It’s hard to take the word “dream” and then put aside the one that you’ve fostered for over 8 years.
Is there a time and a place for every dream? Yes. Yes there is. Is it easy to set those dreams aside? Not always. In fact, I’ll amend that: never. Not at all. There is a disloyalty it seems. A giving into all the fears that keep us hiking far and away from our dreams.
When we align ourselves with God’s plans for our life, we don’t always realize that sometimes we have to accept that not every dream is for the right time. Could I have continued pursuing my writing during a move and a new job and working for ACFW? Mmm. Probably. Would I have killed myself? Definitely.
There is a reason we walk the path we do, especially when we are aligned completely with God’s will for our lives. There is a reason we walk through seasons of struggle and hardship and setting one dream aside for another. Because God’s plans and timing for our lives is beyond perfect. There is not a single thing He does that is not 100% in our best interest—even if we perceive this as a struggle—a fight against our own will.
He knows the dreams we are dreaming for ourselves. And He knows the dreams He is dreaming that are best for us. So I’m setting one dream aside—not trading it—for another and different on. The one He has for me now.
And someday I’ll see my name on that cover. Someday indeed.