Wednesday, December 1, 2010

When Nothing Makes Sense

So, I was going to write something else today and decided to whine instead.

Well, not really whine, but it got your attention didn't it?? :-)

I entered a writing contest-again. Yes. Again. Why I put myself through this torture, I will never know. It was a chapter hook contest. The first 1,000 words max and a back cover blurb. Out of a total 60 points I got a 51 (really good I thought!!), a 37 (surely this would by my lowest score, right???) and a *wait for it....*

18.

O-kay. Tell me where to go from here?? When my prose sounds like poetry (and just to be clear, no offense, but I pretty much don't like poetry, unless it's the book of Psalms), my heroine has no goal and actions are bordering on unbelievable.

Okay, I'm just going to go pound my head against a wall for a little bit.

Everyone relates right?? I was pretty much raised in a judging system. 4H is not know for its equal playing fields. I know how judges can think, if they got up on the wrong side of the bed or had a fight with their spouse and kids, it will probably affect my score. I don't wish to put all judges under a steam roller- they certainly are not all this way, but it is INCREDIBLY subjective, none the less, no matter anything.

And where do I draw the line? I am a baby writer. I need the advice, I want the advice, I CRAVE the advice. But where does drawing the line blur into a fuzzy strip? Facilitating between accepting and rejecting? This is just so confusing. My brain is muddled.

I see consistencies though. My heroine needs a motivation on page 1. I know what they mean, they all pretty much said it, I obviously NEED it. I'm truly glad to know that. Also, there was too much movement in the scene, I took too long on certain sections, so obviously, something else I need to work on. I can honestly say I am grateful to know that. How else will I grow??

But when you're writing style gets a fat 0 on the score sheet, I really don't know where to go from there. Okay, it didn't suit that one person's needs. We are all different, and I have the utmost respect for his/her opinion. But what is so hard to understand is what do I do with that criticism? Do I say, no, this is how I write, deal with it (and to be frank, I would never say that :-) or do I say, okay she/he has a valid point, and this really isn't the style I should be writing in.

That comment really, really stung. I'm not going to lie and pretend I'm okay. It's hard. You learn more from losing than winning. I would rather learn and grow stronger in the craft, then be the winner all the time and never get anywhere.

But again, I ask, where do I draw the line? What do I accept and what do I throw away? 3 opinions aren't really an option here to decide what stays and what goes. It's a judge, we all want to respect and honor their opinion. Where should that end?

*I do apologize for the rant.

18 comments:

  1. {{{HUGS}}}

    Oh sweetie!

    I was in the same contest and did MUCH better than I expected [then realized that part of what I got counted off on was because I SENT THE WRONG STINKING FILE! and the one I sent didn't meet the requirements].

    I know it's rough [this is the first contest I've done half decent in]. I've learned the hard way to do that with my teacher reviews. Of course, the only people who left comments on those reviews are the negative ones so flipping through them was a sure way to make me cry for hours on end - esp when I knew who had written them b/c of handwriting or whatever and they had been all nice to my face.

    Have some ice cream or other guilty pleasure then focus on the positive - from the first review, from friends, family and whoever else and let that one go. Easier said than done, I know, but I know you can do it! As hard as it is, I say take that one and even parts of the second one see if there's anything you can apply and burn the rest - heck print it off and toss it in the fireplace!

    And then have more ice cream.

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  2. LOL Carol, thanks for that! This isn't the first contest I have entered and know what it is like to get critisism, but it certainly doesn't get easier! I'm fine, I'll move on and keep learning how to write, the hard part is just knowing what to accept and what to reject, because what if I reject something I should have really accepted because I didn't have a tough enough hide, know what I mean? Now you know why my brain is all muddled. :)

    I'm so GLAD THOUGH THAT YOU DID GOOD!!!! That's too bad about that file, but I'm so glad to "know" someone who did good in the same contest. :D

    Thanks Carol, I appreciate the support!! But waaaa- no ice cream in the house!! *grin*

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  3. I totally understand!! What to keep? What to let go?! AH!

    What?!

    No ice cream?!

    Is that legal?!

    /carefully closes door to freezer that only has left over individual servings from a birthday party/

    Cookie dough?

    I didn't make it just because I ate the last peanut butter cup. Nope. Didn't. Couldn't be. But I'll share ;).

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  4. Hey, keep your chin up!
    I still get that, as a published author. You can't make everyone happy, and as hard as it is, you have to assume that everyone else is right. :) If you want a more personal opinion, I can look over it and point out things to you.
    Email me @ amandabradburn@ymail.com

    Amanda Bradburn
    Romans 1:16
    The Keepers of Elenath

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  5. @Carol, LOL, I'll take that! Thanks for sharing- on all fronts!! :)

    @Amanda, I have been reading and writing books reviews long enough to know it doesn't end here for sure!! Thank you SO MUCH for offering to reading something of mine, especially since I know how busy you are. I just might take you up on that, though probably next week sometime, I am swamped through Sunday.

    Appreciate you Ladies!! God is good to give me such a supportive community. :)

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  6. I can't help but wonder what the judge who graded harshly would have thought of your post today.
    Wait...listen...look at your post objectively...your writing flows, you moved forward with a goal, thought...this piece moved others to react whether in their head or with breaking down and leaving a comment. Your main character (you) clearly had conflict, obstacles...every writing tip I've seen is contained in this post.
    The writing is tight, clear, compassionate.
    Case...copy this post as a confirmation to yourself...that God has called you to be a writer...and He doesn't make mistakes.
    You, my sister, are a role model.

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  7. I am sorry! I am only a reader and reviewer, but I think sometimes if we went by a small blurb and judged all their writing on that, we would miss out on some really great writing! I think being harsh, seldom helps anyone, there is always a way to tell the truth and be kind.

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  8. @Mary, don't make me cry!! That is the sweetest thing I think anyone has ever said to me and I don't really know what to say! You have moved me beyond words and I hope to someday return the favor (though I would never wish a bad score on you! :), along with a tight hug!!

    @Martha, thank you. My day has grown progressively better and God WILL use this to strengthen me. I have complete trust in that.

    And yes, I do think that harsh is rarely called for, critisism, yes and something I hope to always be willing to take-and hopefully it will be given in love.

    Thank you for coming by!!

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  9. Hey Casey! I know what you are going through...I just received rejection from the interested agent at ACFW conference yesterday. I expected her to reject it, but her advice was hard to swallow. The great thing to remember is, that from here on out, you will remember those yucky criticisms, and it will push you forward to prove them wrong! So much of this whole process seems subjective...just like "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" stuff...and if you can find that one agent/judge/publisher who "gets" you then that's all that matters as far as recognition goes. Right? It's tough, but God's given you the ability for a reason! Hang in there!
    Angie

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  10. ***HUGS***

    I totally understand! I've gotten some doosy of feedbacks in contests too. It's amazing how one person can gush over your work and another can think it's utter trash.

    It is SO very hard to know how to process. I always start by allowing time to grieve. That includes, sometimes, getting just a little mad.

    I think you can respect and honor a judges opinion without agreeing with them. That judge could have the credentials of a sock puppet for all you know.

    Anyway, I know you don't need me telling you how to handle contest feedback. You do a great job at it. But my only caution are these to points:

    1.) The judge is never always right. Don't take everything they say and think it is golden. It's not. They are wrong sometimes. And sometimes... a lot!
    2.) the judge is always sometimes right. I've never had a judge give me ALL bad feedback. I've taken at least one "jewel" of feedback from each contest critique. Some are like a gold mine with "ah-ha" moments all over. Others I have to dig to find that one bit of treasure. Bit the one bit is worth all the dirt and crap to get to it:-)

    *hugs* It'll be okay!!! Do you want me to go beat up the judge for you??? I will!!! *grin*

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  11. Your experience reminded me of a little blurb I saw recently. It isn't exactly about contests, but it is about the quality of someone's writing being misjudged. Maybe you can appreciate this . . .

    I read that a writer worked to get a book published and then it won a prestigious award--perhaps the Pulitzer. A few years later, a friend who could not get published conducted an experiment. He and the man retyped the manuscript, changing the title and author, but keeping the first chapters exactly the same.

    They then began submitting it as if it were from an unknown author. A prizewinning manuscript which had already sold who knows how many copies. And they needed more than one sheet of paper to keep track of how many times it was rejected.

    I wonder how many "experts" read that submission packet and misjudged it??

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  12. Oh Casey...I say phooey on the judge's comments. They must have had their panties in a wad that day, or something to that effect! I cannot imagine anyone giving a person a zero.
    I say move on, knowing that God has gifted you and you are His tool to minister through your words. He called you and now you go forth, regardless of the nay-sayers.

    (((hugs)))

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  13. I think you should take it as experience and know that along the way not everyone will like your work, probably not even when you are published. Take what you know may be a bit of truth and then keep trying until you reach your goal. Though I am not an author, I can't imagine that the judge is who should hold the keys to your satisfaction or feelings of success. Keep praying and writing, getting strong in your work.

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  14. Casey, I haven't entered any writing contests, so I don't have any experience there.

    But my gut would say don't get too hung up on one contest. Ultimately it's your story and if you don't agree with a crit, you need to follow your heart.

    I think that's part of the learning curve with new writers. We need to learn when to follow advice and when to trust our instincts.

    Keep your head up and remember who you're writing for.

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  15. @Angie, oh, I'm sorry about that rejection! I know it must be harder to get it from an industry professional than just a contest judge. Thank you for the reminder that God has obviously given me a love for words for a reason, I REALLY needed to hear that. You don't know how much. Appreciate you!!

    @LOL, Krista God has blessed me with a whole bunch of surragote writer "moms", no I think I will leave the beating up for the moment. :) Love what you said about a judge's opinion, I appreciate you coming by to remind me just how to take such feedback. Sadly, I think I am still learning how to accept such criticisms. Sigh. Not sure that was a lesson I wanted to learn.

    @Renee Ann, I have heard that story and it never ceases to amaze me! It truly points out the subjectivity of man and the challenges we face in such an industry, I apprecaite you sharing that with me, it is reminder, but can sometimes prove a bit discouraging! But not so much this time. :)

    @Sherrinda, I appreciate you so much!! You don't know how much. Thank you, thank you. God knows the right timing for me, and maybe, obviously my pride over this story needed to be brought down a notch. I think it worked. ;)

    @Adge, yes it certianly is a preperation for publication, because goodness knows no one likes the same stuff twice it would seem! Thank you for reminding me of that. :)

    @Joy, yes that is the hard part isn't it? Knowing what to follow and what to reject, because the heart might be too tied up to notice. But I do see what you are saying and I don't think I could change my writing style, even if I wanted, just because of this one contest.

    THANK YOU ALL!!

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  16. Oh, Case, I just now read this and wish I could give you a giant hug and tell you -- DON'T YOU BELIEVE IT!!!

    Honey, A Passion Most Pure (when it was A Chasing After the Wind) got a perfect score of 200 from one judge in a contest, begging me to "please, please, please, please let her know when I got published" because she couldn't wait to read the whole thing. Pretty good, eh? I thought so until the next judge in the same contest gave me a 50% score (100 out of 200), telling me I placed too much emphasis on the subordinate characters and flipped POVs way too much and my language was too flowery or something like that.

    And, Case, it will be the same way with publishers. The week before Revell took me to pub board, a top editor blasted my ms., saying the vitriole between the sisters was not believable, the ending too pat and unrealistic and WAY too many POVs. That same ms. garnered a unanimous vote by Revell editors to be published. Go figure.

    My point? You win some, you lose some. And, girl, it NEVER quits. Not with contests, editors or readers. So what do you do??? Well, when I entered contests, I prayed about every single thing any judge told me to do. If it was repeated by more than one judge and resonated with my spirit, I did it. If it didn't, I chucked it. Period. You have to write from YOUR heart, gleaning as much knowledge as you can to fine-tune your gift. But ultimately YOU have to decide if a judge is all wet or not. And trust me, a LOT of them are ... especially if they are not YOUR market.

    I remember purhcasing a paid critique at ACFW from a pretty big author, so I bought her book and read it on the way down. HOLY COW, I HATED how she wrote certain things because it was NOT my style at all, and you know what? She didn't like my style either and critiqued me on those very things, suggesting I do it like she did. NOT!!!

    Anyway, I am sorry to ramble on, but do NOT let something like this get you down, you hear? I can tell my the e-mails you send me and your blogs that you are a wonderful writer, sweetie ... AND an even more wonderful friend!!

    Hugs,
    Julie

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  17. Oh, Case, I just now read this and wish I could give you a giant hug and tell you -- DON'T YOU BELIEVE IT!!!

    Honey, A Passion Most Pure (when it was A Chasing After the Wind) got a perfect score of 200 from one judge in a contest, begging me to "please, please, please, please let her know when I got published" because she couldn't wait to read the whole thing. Pretty good, eh? I thought so until the next judge in the same contest gave me a 50% score (100 out of 200), telling me I placed too much emphasis on the subordinate characters and flipped POVs way too much and my language was too flowery or something like that.

    And, Case, it will be the same way with publishers. The week before Revell took me to pub board, a top editor blasted my ms., saying the vitriole between the sisters was not believable, the ending too pat and unrealistic and WAY too many POVs. That same ms. garnered a unanimous vote by Revell editors to be published. Go figure!

    My point? You win some, you lose some. And, girl, it NEVER quits. Not with contests, editors or readers. So what do you do??? Well, when I entered contests, I prayed about every single thing any judge told me to do. If it was repeated by more than one judge and resonated with my spirit, I did it. If it didn't, I chucked it. Period. You have to write from YOUR heart, gleaning as much knowledge as you can to fine-tune your gift. But ultimately YOU have to decide if a judge is all wet or not. And trust me, a LOT of them are ... especially if they are not YOUR market.

    I remember purhcasing a paid critique at ACFW from a pretty big author, so I bought her book and read it on the way down. HOLY COW, I HATED how she wrote certain things because it was NOT my style at all, and you know what? She didn't like my style either and critiqued me on those very things, suggesting I do it like she did. NOT!!!

    Anyway, I am sorry to ramble on, but do NOT let something like this get you down, you hear? I can tell my the e-mails you send me and your blogs that you are a wonderful writer, sweetie ... AND an even more wonderful friend!!

    Hugs,
    Julie

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  18. Oh Julie, THANK YOU! I knew you struggled with APMP, but didn't some of the other things you mentioned, thank you for taking so much time to encourage me. Your wisdom is ever helpful, because I know I can't keep most of what a judge says, but there is the ever fear I will throw something away that would make my story better. Praying about it is definately a gem of wisdom I so needed to be reminded about. Thank you for the support, it means more than I can say! May you be blessed for that wonderful spirit God has planted within you!

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