Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Where Have All the White Dresses Gone?

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But in truth, the white dresses have only seemed to multiply in abundance.

It seems that when the wedding day comes around, the white dress is a must. Whether she has earned it or not.

I still remember when a white dress really meant something.




It was a gift worth giving, to her husband, to herself. To God.

A statement to the entire world and all the wedding witnesses that she waited.

She kept herself pure.

What does a white dress mean now?

Now it depends on the bride. And we can't trust that crisp white anymore. We can't look at a bride clothed in white and know that she earned that dress. And she deserves to wear it.

I have known so many brides in the last few months and years who have lived with their boyfriends. Sometimes for many years and produced children and then decide to get married. In a white dress.

What does that mean?


And what does that mean for the bride that did wait?

It's a loss of respect. It cheapens what you and I and my sister are waiting for. Purity. Truth. Honesty.

And yet, every bride who has ever been a little girl dreams of that white dress and longs to wear it. But she has to earn it. Because a white dress that hasn't been earned shouldn't be worn.

And when I think of those brides who haven't earned the right to wear that white dress, have made the mistake of going against God's divine wishes for our lives, my heart sobs just a little bit more. Because it represents less and less to me as I wait for my wedding day.

So I ask again, where have all the white dresses gone? And along with it, where has our respect for what white respresents fled?


  1. Beautiful. Well, not the subject of so many impure brides today, but your writing and the cadence is beautiful.

    I agree with you wholeheartedly. Today they use white dresses just because it's tradition. Something that's always been done. It's sad that the majority of people today have forgotten that it became a tradition because the young bride kept herself pure, and earned the right to be dressed in lily white.

  2. Loved the honesty in your post, and I agree with Katie. The world we are living in is so messed up and what was once shocking, is now accepted as the norm, and we have an obligation to our future families to not settle for less than what is right.

  3. Beautifully put, Case, and incredibly true. Fortunately, it's not man's perception that's important here, but God's.

    I wish you and your family a most BLESSED new year, my friend, where white dresses abound, along with the blessings they bring.


  4. Casey, what's most important is that you will know and your groom will know what that white dress signifies.

    And God will know.


  5. I agree with what you are saying about keeping oneself pure. Many years ago almost nobody wore white and the popularity of the white dress came after Queen Victoria wore a white gown and the trend started although white has always been a color that represents purity I think. I personally wouldn't have a problem with wearing an off-white dress, pink or even a black dress (LOL I went over this on Goodreads after I saw a post online about the increasing popularity of black wedding gowns). I think it's more important what's in my heart--between me and my groom and most importantly God than the color of my dress. I'm not stepping on any toes here am I? I really hope not because in no way am I minimizing the importance of staying pure.

    XOXO~ Renee

  6. Casey, thank you for standing up for purity and integrity. This is a wonderful, wonderful post. I believe there's always room for grace and forgiveness...and even a white dress for someone who has recommitted to purity after mistakes they regret. At the same time, I resonate with your hurt...waiting for that white dress of your own while seeing others around you disregard what it's meant to represent makes me sad.

    But like Erica said above, the most important thing is that you and I and others and our grooms know what the white dress represents to us. And that's a great hope to cling to in a world that is moving further away from purity...

  7. KATIE, and that is the heart of the issue: it's something that has ALWAYS been done. I find it sad and disheartening and like so many have said here, WE must hold ourselves accountable. Not the world.

    FAYE, if we could get back to it being shocking, we'd probably have a lot less problems in our world!

    ERICA, that is so completely true and something I thought of as I wrote the post. But I have to be careful I don't end up on a soapbox. ;-)

    RENEE, no you are not stepping on any toes, because my mom and I have had the same discussion. Laura Ingalls Wilder was married in black and I don't think she ever wished herself back. ;-) Yes, it is the heart of the matter, but it USED to be a symbol and it saddens me that it isn't anymore.

    MELISSA, I can't tell you how much I thought of that as I was typing this post last night. Because I do know brides who have made mistakes and have genuially asked and received God's forgiveness. Where I stand and it saddens me, is the bride is still living in sin, but wants that white dress.

    But I also agree with you and Erica and Renee (:-)--that how we have lived matters more than what the world thinks. And what God thinks. So much more important!!

  8. Casey this is beautifully put. I'm the queen of offering second chances and I know so many young people who chance those intimate relationships and regret them later.

    Which is why I love a forgiving God, a gentle God, an esteemed leader who sees our hearts and heals our souls.

    Do I care if a bride wears white?


    Because marriage and motherhood are great "bringers of maturity" for so many. And with that maturity can come faith and forgiveness. And appreciation for the sanctity of sex and love-making in marriage.

    But a dress is just a dress. Always.

    The heart and soul?

    They're the crux of the matter in Ruthy-land.

  9. RUTHY, I think you should have written this post. I'm so glad you stopped by and shared today. Completely agree with what you said. Thanks! :)

  10. Casey,

    I love your thoughts, and Ruthie's too :).

    I agree too with Erica, its about the importance you and your groom will give to it. Proud of you for standing up for what you believe. It is so worth it.


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